For Those Of Us Who Are Always Right

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." - Ephesians 5:21

This weekend I had the pleasure of driving during five o'clock traffic in North Dallas. At the busy interchange of George Bush Turnpike and the North Dallas Tollway, the east and westbound traffic coming from the Turnpike come together before entering the Tollway. At the junction where these two groups meet is a yellow road sign with two conjoined arrows and the word, "Merge."

And the amazing thing is, mostly everyone did. Here in Houston, there would probably have been some serious road rage going on, but the commuters yielded to one another, kept the flow of traffic moving, and the collective blood pressure relatively low. Occasionally, someone would not want to yield to the other lane, but for the most part, everyone took turns. Incredible.

Submission is not a comfortable state for most of us. We do not want to be in a position of submission, we want to be in a position of power. We do not want to find ourselves suddenly having to answer for what we have done. Sometimes this means breaking the rules or ignoring directions.

God's directions and rules are about as blatant as a yellow and black road sign that says, "MERGE." There they all are in black and white, and yet we question them and place our own translation on them. We push the limits, we toe the line. Then our hearts ask us, "What do you think you are doing?!"

We are human, imperfect, selfish. We see the word, "SUBMIT" and we think of servitude. But in this relationship with each other, we are to submit, not in the spirit of obedience, but by yielding to one another. It keeps us moving. It prevents deadlock.

How many times have I found myself resisting submission? In my relationships with friends, I have had times when I refuse to see their point of view, and eventually, sadly, the friendship is lost. In a battle of wills with my two year old, I find myself in a competition to see who can yell the loudest. Not very productive! And don't get me started on what happens when an immoveable mass marries an unstoppable force.

How is this life sustaining? How can this constant turmoil be good for me, for my family? Our stubborn natures collide, we find ourselves in a stalemate, and nothing is accomplished.

James 3:17-18 says, "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness."

This sounds like the description of my adored kindergarten teacher, Ms. Jana Harkins, or my sweet Nanny, Beth. How did they get there? They learned to MERGE. They learned to pick their battles. We are on our way, we are just not quite there yet. Each day is a new opportunity for us to sow in peace.

Dear God, please help us to be peacemakers in our homes. Help us yield our stubborn natures so that we may have spirit of submission in honor of you. AMEN!

A Father's Love

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." - Zephaniah 3:17

The image I have in my mind when I read this scripture is that of a big, strong father holding his newborn child. The child is upset, the father is soothing the child patiently and gazing at this tiny, angry bundle with absolute adoration.

Infinite patience, immeasurable love, complete joy.

My patience is never what I want it to be. I was always asking God for help with patience until I read an article in which the mother being interviewed said that when we pray for patience, God gives us situations in which we can practice our patience. Not exactly what I was asking for! I have found myself to be more patient as the years pass, so maybe by the time I'm 70, I will have the patience required to raise a family! But patience is a kind of faith. It is faith that the next moment can be better than this one, and so if we can hold on just one more moment, and then another, then we may experience the patience we have asked for.

Our love for our children can be overwhelming. I remember looking at Kate as a newborn and feeling like my heart had grown too big for my chest. I just loved this little wonder so much, it didn't seem possible that there was room in my heart for anything else. And then Brooke came along and there was even more! I think of my own mother and father, who love me, but still fail me at times. We are told that as much as we love our children, God loves us even more. How comforting to know that even when our parents are incapable of soothing our hurts, God's love will sustain us.

We sing a lot at our house and we always have. My mom made up little songs all the time about whatever we were doing, and I have done the same thing with my girls. Now Kate does it, too. We just love to sing! When we find ourselves singing is usually when we are at our happiest. Reading that God rejoices over me with singing again brings to mind the delighted parent, just pleased as punch with His beautiful children. He watches us with delight as we make our way through life and sings at the moments when we bring Him joy, when we are living our lives to His glory and raising our children to follow Him.

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." - Ephesians 3:16-19

What makes you sing? How can you be an example of God's love in the life of someone who needs it? What can you do to be more patient with your spouse, your children, or yourself?

New Day

I'm writing devotionals for my mom's group at church, probably for the next month. It has been my creative outlet and I am learning more about my faith as I write. Here's yesterday's:


"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." - Isaiah 43:18-19

Today is an important day in our nation. We remember the events of September 11, 2001 and all of the destruction that has occurred as a result of those terrorist attacks. We should never forget the people who died that day nor the heroism of the victims and the survivors. Their names will be written in history books.

But that's not really what inspired this devotional. The past that I'm dwelling on today was stirred up by a picture of a wedding in Austin this weekend.

A man I have known since we were four years old (which is really weird considering I have a four year old!) got married yesterday, and his wedding was attended by several other people that I have known for most of my life. They took a picture of this group at the reception and posted it on Facebook. Ah, Facebook, the perpetual high school reunion.

Looking at this picture, I suddenly had these thoughts of, "What might have happened if..." If I had dated that one boy, even though my so called friends would have made fun of me. If I had gone to a different college. If I had stayed working with this group of people instead of moving on to a different job that summer, maybe I would have been in that picture.

It can be dangerous to dwell on the past. If this, then that, but where do we end up? If that terrorist had missed that flight, then what? If I had gone to a different college, then what?

This is an age old concept, the idea of the road not taken. The problem with the "road not taken" exercise when you are married with children is that it erases those faces. And who am I if I am not Tommy's wife and Kate and Brooke's mother?

The reality is that the hypothetical "road not taken" doesn't exist. We live at the intersection of Destiny Road and Free Will Avenue. The choices we make along the way dictate the life we live, but God's role shouldn't be ignored. He wants us to look to the future, not to the past, no matter if it is a past filled with happiness and promise or a past filled with sadness and regret.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

So God doesn't want us living this life that He has given us with one foot in the present and one in the past. He wants us living in today and seeking Him! We need to let go of the "what if" and the "I wish" so that we can truly seek God with all our heart and receive the blessings that He has shared with us.

What are you grateful for in your life today? What choices can you make today to have a positive impact on your family's future? What things in the past can you let go of so that you can start seeking God with all of your heart?

Gratitude

Things I am happy about today:

1. We got some rain yesterday! Almost an inch and a half, we'll take it!

2. I'm not on any thyroid meds and haven't been for over a month. Still feeling better than fine and no more weird heart palpitations, thank you very much.

3. Kate started preschool 4's yesterday, she is going three days a week. Love getting back into the groove.

4. Caught up on laundry.

5. Still (mostly) under budget.

6. Looking forward to Randy and Jody's wedding on Saturday and the boys' birthday Saturday morning. The I-35 crawl, not so much, but we do what we have to do!

7. Very grateful for a supportive and loving husband.

8. Got to snooze with Kate for about 30 minutes during nap time. I woke up and she was pressed against me like she did when she was teeny tiny. Total time warp, I couldn't figure out when she got so big.

9. Brookie fell asleep by herself for naptime today and slept almost three hours. But only after "reading" her favorite books to me. Best part of my job.

XXXOOO,
Lindsay

The pros and cons of being a (mostly) gluten free family

I am not an optimist. I typically see the worst in situations and have to be led by the nose to find the silver lining. It took being married to my wonderful, "the world is black and white," no-nonsense engineer who keeps me on the straight and narrow for me to see that about myself. It is not always a good quality to have, unless you just like being negative and cynical, and it is not one that I plan to pass along to my girls.

Which is why I like them to watch movies like Mary Poppins and Annie and want someone to add Pollyanna to our collection. Good birds, those three.

Anywho, I get frustrated with the whole gluten free thing occasionally, and so I wanted to write this out to have for myself and for anyone else struggling with the same thoughts. Because sometimes us perfectionists make it all look really easy. But it's not.

Pros:
1. We have two healthy, happy children, one of whom just happens to have Celiac disease.
2. We all pay more attention to what is going into our bodies than we did before.
3. Eating food is less of a pastime for us.
4. We are more involved in the planning and preparing of food, which has made me a better cook. And most of what we eat is homemade, from scratch, minimally processed, etc. So I feel more connected to what I am feeding my family.
5. I have become better friends with people in the gluten free (and other allergen free) community whom I may not have otherwise.
6. It has made me see my child differently, and appreciate her more as an individual than I did before.
7. I spend more time at home, and less money at restaurants or on fast food.
8. I found out that I do have the gene, which is good to know for later on in life if I develop symptoms.
9. Kate is more invested in what she is eating, she doesn't just blindly put food into her mouth. She asks if everything and every restaurant and every person is also gluten free.
10. Those of us in our family who can still eat gluten are able to appreciate things like a soft hamburger or hotdog bun or a breakfast taco on a flour tortilla. It's the little things.

Cons:
1. I'm constantly scrutinizing Kate's poop and how her tummy feels/sounds.
2. Kate has learned to tell people that things she doesn't want to eat are not gluten free, even if they are (i.e. cantaloupe, watermelon).
3. It can be expensive, especially when you ruin an entire batch of baking by leaving out or adding too much xanthan gum. (Curse you, xanthan gum! Thank you for your existence, but curse you for being expensive and necessary to every baked good I now make!)
4. No more Chick Fil A playdates. This could also be a pro.
5. Church communion: some people intinct their bread, which leaves huge floating chunks of bread in the wine. Not GF. We'll figure that out, minor hiccup.
6. When Kate does get "glutened" or is just not feeling well, I feel like I have failed to protect her. Even though my logical self knows that it happens and I am doing my best, I still beat myself up.
7. No convenience meals, pretty much ever.
8. Visiting out of town family overnight is a HUGE undertaking. Planning ahead, packing food and cooking implements, making sure their not gluten-free houses are safe for Kate. Which, I'm sure, is not fun for them either when I come into their house and tell them what to do.
9.Trying not to hurt people's feelings when I explain the disease and they don't understand that it's not just that she can't eat wheat. And that just because something says gluten free doesn't really mean that it is. Which makes me look like a lunatic. And that having a gluten free menu at a restaurant does not necessarily mean it is safe. Which makes me look like a control freak. Worrying what other people think is exhausting, maybe I should stop?
10. I can't think of one right now, maybe I'm tipped over a little to the optimist side. Is it possible?

Quick refresher on baking

Rule number 1 of gluten free baking: Bring all ingredients to room temperature first.

Rule number 2 of gluten free baking: Make sure all implements and ingredients are, in fact, gluten free.

And rule number 3, get off the phone while you are making something somewhat complicated for the first time so that you don't end up leaving out the blessed xanthan gum and have really tasty (and expensive) breadcrumbs.

ARGH!

Random updates...and a little pee

Brooke just went pee in the potty!!! I don't know who was more surprised, her or me. We had a little party in the bathroom for her, Kate was so cute, she was very encouraging and said, "Good job, Sister!"

We moved her into her new twin bed yesterday after a successful week in the toddler bed, and so far she has transitioned pretty smoothly. The first two days were a little bumpy, but then she figured out how to play for a little while and then lay down in her bed. I'm a little shocked at how little she protested or tried to escape, she tends to be a stubborn little miss.

I'm working on sewing a bedspread for Miss Brooke, it is chenille and so it is super linty, there is lavender fluff all over my house right now. Maybe someone can teach me how to upload pictures to this blog so that everyone can see it when it is complete...

In other news, I just found out that there is a GF B&B in San Antonio, as well as a GF cafe/bakery, so maybe the next time we head that way we will give it a try. And the links from the Chicken Paradise website would definitely help anyone who is GF traveling to San Antonio or the surrounding areas.

http://www.thelittleaussiebakery.com/
http://www.chickenparadise.com/

Thanks to my friend, Julie, for the info. She is such an inspiration to me for many reasons, but the knowledge that she has shared about all things gluten has been life changing for me. I cannot begin to express how truly amazing this lady is, I want to be just like her when I grow up!

So, all of a sudden, a bunch of the women in my life have taken the plunge, either voluntarily or otherwise, into the world of stay-at-home momming. Epidemic level. And none of my SAHM friends are entering the work force, but I have a feeling that will be happening sooner than later.

I have been thinking about tips for these moms on how not to burn out, and how to enjoy your time at home, but the truth is, I am burned out and I don't always enjoy my kids. There are days when I am so fed up with not listening and picking up their stuff and changing peed on sheets and preparing meals that by the time T gets home I am downright surly. So who am I to advise? Donna Reed, I am not, I'm more of Mommy Dearest on those days.

Mommy: "Kate, Brooke, go upstairs, it's naptime."
*crickets chirping*
Mommy: "Kate, Brooke, it's time to go upstairs now."
Kate: "Let's play Polly Pockets, Brooke."
Mommy: "GO UPSTAIRS, NOOOOOWWWWW!"

Wailing, running, stomping ensue.

Deep breaths. Or more screaming, it's a crapshoot.

But on the days when I love my job and my life, I think I am a great mom. I am present, I am interested in what they are doing and think of ways to make activities fun.

So I guess the big thing about being a stay-at-home mom is that you don't have job evaluations to track your progress. You can do great for a week and have a really bad couple of days and no one is going to fire you. You can work really hard and maybe no one notices. Or you can phone it in and watch Cinderella twice in one day and they say, "This was the best day ever!"

So cut yourself a break. Take it a day at a time. Look at their sweet faces. Think about saying yes instead of no. Give hugs in place of time out or spanking. Think before you speak.

And I say all of these things because I have done the opposite and felt terrible. I have learned the hard way that losing my temper just scares my children and makes them sad, and makes me sad as well. It doesn't teach anyone or solve anything.

So now they are both up from nap and it is a new day! Kate has just reminded me that she is waiting patiently for her drink. What are some of your learned-the-hard-way parenting tips?