New Day

I'm writing devotionals for my mom's group at church, probably for the next month. It has been my creative outlet and I am learning more about my faith as I write. Here's yesterday's:


"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." - Isaiah 43:18-19

Today is an important day in our nation. We remember the events of September 11, 2001 and all of the destruction that has occurred as a result of those terrorist attacks. We should never forget the people who died that day nor the heroism of the victims and the survivors. Their names will be written in history books.

But that's not really what inspired this devotional. The past that I'm dwelling on today was stirred up by a picture of a wedding in Austin this weekend.

A man I have known since we were four years old (which is really weird considering I have a four year old!) got married yesterday, and his wedding was attended by several other people that I have known for most of my life. They took a picture of this group at the reception and posted it on Facebook. Ah, Facebook, the perpetual high school reunion.

Looking at this picture, I suddenly had these thoughts of, "What might have happened if..." If I had dated that one boy, even though my so called friends would have made fun of me. If I had gone to a different college. If I had stayed working with this group of people instead of moving on to a different job that summer, maybe I would have been in that picture.

It can be dangerous to dwell on the past. If this, then that, but where do we end up? If that terrorist had missed that flight, then what? If I had gone to a different college, then what?

This is an age old concept, the idea of the road not taken. The problem with the "road not taken" exercise when you are married with children is that it erases those faces. And who am I if I am not Tommy's wife and Kate and Brooke's mother?

The reality is that the hypothetical "road not taken" doesn't exist. We live at the intersection of Destiny Road and Free Will Avenue. The choices we make along the way dictate the life we live, but God's role shouldn't be ignored. He wants us to look to the future, not to the past, no matter if it is a past filled with happiness and promise or a past filled with sadness and regret.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

So God doesn't want us living this life that He has given us with one foot in the present and one in the past. He wants us living in today and seeking Him! We need to let go of the "what if" and the "I wish" so that we can truly seek God with all our heart and receive the blessings that He has shared with us.

What are you grateful for in your life today? What choices can you make today to have a positive impact on your family's future? What things in the past can you let go of so that you can start seeking God with all of your heart?

Gratitude

Things I am happy about today:

1. We got some rain yesterday! Almost an inch and a half, we'll take it!

2. I'm not on any thyroid meds and haven't been for over a month. Still feeling better than fine and no more weird heart palpitations, thank you very much.

3. Kate started preschool 4's yesterday, she is going three days a week. Love getting back into the groove.

4. Caught up on laundry.

5. Still (mostly) under budget.

6. Looking forward to Randy and Jody's wedding on Saturday and the boys' birthday Saturday morning. The I-35 crawl, not so much, but we do what we have to do!

7. Very grateful for a supportive and loving husband.

8. Got to snooze with Kate for about 30 minutes during nap time. I woke up and she was pressed against me like she did when she was teeny tiny. Total time warp, I couldn't figure out when she got so big.

9. Brookie fell asleep by herself for naptime today and slept almost three hours. But only after "reading" her favorite books to me. Best part of my job.

XXXOOO,
Lindsay

The pros and cons of being a (mostly) gluten free family

I am not an optimist. I typically see the worst in situations and have to be led by the nose to find the silver lining. It took being married to my wonderful, "the world is black and white," no-nonsense engineer who keeps me on the straight and narrow for me to see that about myself. It is not always a good quality to have, unless you just like being negative and cynical, and it is not one that I plan to pass along to my girls.

Which is why I like them to watch movies like Mary Poppins and Annie and want someone to add Pollyanna to our collection. Good birds, those three.

Anywho, I get frustrated with the whole gluten free thing occasionally, and so I wanted to write this out to have for myself and for anyone else struggling with the same thoughts. Because sometimes us perfectionists make it all look really easy. But it's not.

Pros:
1. We have two healthy, happy children, one of whom just happens to have Celiac disease.
2. We all pay more attention to what is going into our bodies than we did before.
3. Eating food is less of a pastime for us.
4. We are more involved in the planning and preparing of food, which has made me a better cook. And most of what we eat is homemade, from scratch, minimally processed, etc. So I feel more connected to what I am feeding my family.
5. I have become better friends with people in the gluten free (and other allergen free) community whom I may not have otherwise.
6. It has made me see my child differently, and appreciate her more as an individual than I did before.
7. I spend more time at home, and less money at restaurants or on fast food.
8. I found out that I do have the gene, which is good to know for later on in life if I develop symptoms.
9. Kate is more invested in what she is eating, she doesn't just blindly put food into her mouth. She asks if everything and every restaurant and every person is also gluten free.
10. Those of us in our family who can still eat gluten are able to appreciate things like a soft hamburger or hotdog bun or a breakfast taco on a flour tortilla. It's the little things.

Cons:
1. I'm constantly scrutinizing Kate's poop and how her tummy feels/sounds.
2. Kate has learned to tell people that things she doesn't want to eat are not gluten free, even if they are (i.e. cantaloupe, watermelon).
3. It can be expensive, especially when you ruin an entire batch of baking by leaving out or adding too much xanthan gum. (Curse you, xanthan gum! Thank you for your existence, but curse you for being expensive and necessary to every baked good I now make!)
4. No more Chick Fil A playdates. This could also be a pro.
5. Church communion: some people intinct their bread, which leaves huge floating chunks of bread in the wine. Not GF. We'll figure that out, minor hiccup.
6. When Kate does get "glutened" or is just not feeling well, I feel like I have failed to protect her. Even though my logical self knows that it happens and I am doing my best, I still beat myself up.
7. No convenience meals, pretty much ever.
8. Visiting out of town family overnight is a HUGE undertaking. Planning ahead, packing food and cooking implements, making sure their not gluten-free houses are safe for Kate. Which, I'm sure, is not fun for them either when I come into their house and tell them what to do.
9.Trying not to hurt people's feelings when I explain the disease and they don't understand that it's not just that she can't eat wheat. And that just because something says gluten free doesn't really mean that it is. Which makes me look like a lunatic. And that having a gluten free menu at a restaurant does not necessarily mean it is safe. Which makes me look like a control freak. Worrying what other people think is exhausting, maybe I should stop?
10. I can't think of one right now, maybe I'm tipped over a little to the optimist side. Is it possible?

Quick refresher on baking

Rule number 1 of gluten free baking: Bring all ingredients to room temperature first.

Rule number 2 of gluten free baking: Make sure all implements and ingredients are, in fact, gluten free.

And rule number 3, get off the phone while you are making something somewhat complicated for the first time so that you don't end up leaving out the blessed xanthan gum and have really tasty (and expensive) breadcrumbs.

ARGH!

Random updates...and a little pee

Brooke just went pee in the potty!!! I don't know who was more surprised, her or me. We had a little party in the bathroom for her, Kate was so cute, she was very encouraging and said, "Good job, Sister!"

We moved her into her new twin bed yesterday after a successful week in the toddler bed, and so far she has transitioned pretty smoothly. The first two days were a little bumpy, but then she figured out how to play for a little while and then lay down in her bed. I'm a little shocked at how little she protested or tried to escape, she tends to be a stubborn little miss.

I'm working on sewing a bedspread for Miss Brooke, it is chenille and so it is super linty, there is lavender fluff all over my house right now. Maybe someone can teach me how to upload pictures to this blog so that everyone can see it when it is complete...

In other news, I just found out that there is a GF B&B in San Antonio, as well as a GF cafe/bakery, so maybe the next time we head that way we will give it a try. And the links from the Chicken Paradise website would definitely help anyone who is GF traveling to San Antonio or the surrounding areas.

http://www.thelittleaussiebakery.com/
http://www.chickenparadise.com/

Thanks to my friend, Julie, for the info. She is such an inspiration to me for many reasons, but the knowledge that she has shared about all things gluten has been life changing for me. I cannot begin to express how truly amazing this lady is, I want to be just like her when I grow up!

So, all of a sudden, a bunch of the women in my life have taken the plunge, either voluntarily or otherwise, into the world of stay-at-home momming. Epidemic level. And none of my SAHM friends are entering the work force, but I have a feeling that will be happening sooner than later.

I have been thinking about tips for these moms on how not to burn out, and how to enjoy your time at home, but the truth is, I am burned out and I don't always enjoy my kids. There are days when I am so fed up with not listening and picking up their stuff and changing peed on sheets and preparing meals that by the time T gets home I am downright surly. So who am I to advise? Donna Reed, I am not, I'm more of Mommy Dearest on those days.

Mommy: "Kate, Brooke, go upstairs, it's naptime."
*crickets chirping*
Mommy: "Kate, Brooke, it's time to go upstairs now."
Kate: "Let's play Polly Pockets, Brooke."
Mommy: "GO UPSTAIRS, NOOOOOWWWWW!"

Wailing, running, stomping ensue.

Deep breaths. Or more screaming, it's a crapshoot.

But on the days when I love my job and my life, I think I am a great mom. I am present, I am interested in what they are doing and think of ways to make activities fun.

So I guess the big thing about being a stay-at-home mom is that you don't have job evaluations to track your progress. You can do great for a week and have a really bad couple of days and no one is going to fire you. You can work really hard and maybe no one notices. Or you can phone it in and watch Cinderella twice in one day and they say, "This was the best day ever!"

So cut yourself a break. Take it a day at a time. Look at their sweet faces. Think about saying yes instead of no. Give hugs in place of time out or spanking. Think before you speak.

And I say all of these things because I have done the opposite and felt terrible. I have learned the hard way that losing my temper just scares my children and makes them sad, and makes me sad as well. It doesn't teach anyone or solve anything.

So now they are both up from nap and it is a new day! Kate has just reminded me that she is waiting patiently for her drink. What are some of your learned-the-hard-way parenting tips?

Chocolate Banana Teff Muffins

I am not a fan of chocolate in the morning. It was baffling to me the first time I tried a chocolate chip muffin, why on earth would I DETEST the concept of dessert for breakfast? I love chocolate any other time of day, I would (and have) eaten Oreos and M&Ms all day long if I could, but there's something about the overly sweet richness in the morning that just turns my stomach.

So when I chose to make these teff muffins this morning, I almost omitted the cocoa powder, thinking I would save myself the heartache of a ruined baking attempt and maybe I just knew what everyone else was missing, that chocolate + muffins = gross.

I was so wrong.

Against my better judgment, I included the cocoa powder. It made the muffins a notch above delicious. It added depth, and a dark tone that balanced out the light sweetness of the banana, like a hint of dark chocolate. You could probably add another tablespoon or two if you want a stronger chocolate flavor.

Teff is an amazing little grain, full of protein, iron and fiber and low in fat. I initially wanted to try it for the fiber and iron, since Brooke has low iron and we can all use more fiber in our diets. I was hesitant though because I had no idea what to expect when it came to taste. The recipe on the package looked harmless, but it used olive oil for the fat, which suggests a savory muffin, i.e. my children won't touch it. I found this recipe and modified it slightly:

http://glutenfreeinslc.blogspot.com/2010/03/banana-teff-muffins.html

The original recipe is from Gluten Free Girl, who is like the Barefoot Contessa of the gluten free cooking scene, meaning her stuff is fresh, seasonal, beautiful food that is a bit more high-brow than my kids are willing to try.

http://glutenfreegirl.com/and-finally-theres-teff/

http://www.teffco.com/index.html

The consistency of these muffins is about like a light bran muffin, but the banana makes it moist, so much so that you won't need to add butter or jam. The recipe makes 18 muffins, so I will have plenty to freeze and reheat for a quick nutritious breakfast or snack. They are surprisingly filling, as well. I ate two with a cuppa tea and am satisfied.

As I write, Kate has eaten one and a half of these! And 3/4 of an early summer peach. And a yogurt. She's like a termite.

Chocolate Banana Teff Muffins

Wet Ingredients
2 large or 3 small ripe bananas, mashed with a fork
1/2 c butter, room temperature
1/2 c sugar
1/2 c brown sugar, packed
2 eggs, room temperature
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup light sour cream, room temperature (could use yogurt instead, just not fat free)

Dry Ingredients
1 c teff flour (I used Bob's Red Mill)
1/2 c sweet rice flour
1/2 c sorghum flour
1/2 c tapioca flour
1/2 c almond meal
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp xanthan gum
3 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder (I used Hershey's)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Prepare two muffin pans with liners or cooking spray. (I did not need to flour the tins, Crisco cooking spray did the trick!)

In a large bowl, combine all dry ingredients and whisk together. Set aside.

In a small bowl, mash the bananas, set aside.

In another large bowl, cream together butter and sugars. When they are just creamed, stop mixing. I used a stand mixer, but this recipe doesn't really demand it.

Add the eggs, vanilla and sour cream and mix, scraping down the sides as needed.

Mix in the mashed bananas on low. When combined, scrape sides and beaters as needed.

Get out your big girl muscles and a rubber spatula. Gradually fold in flour mixture, about 1/4 of a cup at a time, until just combined. At first this will be very easy, but by the last few additions, you will have to put in some effort.

Spoon into prepared muffin tins, about 2/3 full or so. I don't make all of mine uniform because a)I don't work in food service where uniformity is crucial, and b) I like to give Kate and Brooke the smaller muffins and T the bigger ones, I'm weird like that.

Once the batter is spooned into the tins, I tap the bottom of the pans on the counter to get out any large bubbles of trapped air. I don't know if it matters on this recipe, but it's a habit.

Place in the middle of your preheated oven and bake for about 18-20 minutes or until firm and a toothpick comes out clean, it might be a little damp from the moisture of the banana.

Remove from the oven and let cool for about 5 minutes. Enjoy a filling and delicious breakfast!

Snack Attack

So the hardest thing about sending your darling child off to preschool/school is not that they don't miss you, or that they come home with new, unsavory words. It's that they are completely off the grid, going rogue, beyond arm's length away from you and your protective Mama Bear swipe. And for those of us who struggle with being in control of everything, we find this very difficult, indeed.

So there's that. Then there is the fact that they have "naptime" and if you are like me and prided yourself on sleep training starting at six weeks or whatever, prepare to have a cranky child who CANNOT sleep on a 1 inch plastic mat on the ground without room darkening shades, white noise machine or ceiling fan blasting on turbo. IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN. So at 2 pm, be prepared to pick up this exhausted child, then either drive at breakneck speed home and throw them in bed for a nap that lasts until dinnertime, at which point they will wake up crabby and NOT want to go back to sleep until 1o pm, or just suck it up and keep them up until 7 pm, or as I like to call it, "let's see how many times I can beat my head against the wall."

Then we have snack time. Oh, yes, the whole reason we exist. It is all about the snack. Unless you are my child, then snack time looks like this...

Teacher: "Children, our letter of the day is L and so we are having Lucky Charms!" "Children, our letter for the day is G and so we are having Goldfish!" "Children, our letter of the day is R and so we are having Rice Krispy Squares!" (do you see a pattern here?)

So then teacher hands Kate her GF animal crackers while everyone else gets (fill in the blank, letter appropriate snack.)

NO MORE!

This summer, Kate is attending summer camp at her school, which is basically VBS all summer, which sounds awesome to me. I loved VBS, I think she'll have a blast.

So they made an announcement at the open house last night that they were changing their policy on snacks and would no longer be providing a snack, but instead the parents would need to send one for their child everyday. All the other moms are groaning, "Great, another thing to worry about in the morning." And then there's me, pumping my fist in the air (internally) and feeling extremely relieved.

Kate won't be odd girl out! Hooray! It's the little things, ya know?