I very rarely get to go to the grocery store by myself, so when I do, I really take my time. I have to read every label, anyway, and I am pretty limited as to what I can and do buy, but I like to 'window shop.'
I confess, I like to look in other people's carts and see what they are buying. Not that I'm judging or anything, I'm just nosy. So if you ever run into me at the store, I will probably check out what's in your cart. Ground beef, chips, buns, Capri Suns and beer? You must be having a party. Cereal, pancake syrup, Bisquick and milk? I bet your husband's going out of town.
When I go to the store by myself, I turn into one of those people I can't stand when I go to the store with my children. You know them, they stop in the middle of the aisle and reach in the back for the freshest milk. They read the labels on things and then don't even buy them.
Part of this behavior for me is that I don't want to miss out on anything. What if there is a better/cheaper/easier product out there that could potentially change my life? Why should I be stagnant when change is so much more fun?
T gets exasperated with me because I go through phases when I am tired of cooking the same things every week. He has told me he would be happy eating the same five meals on rotation. Seriously? I can't live that way. Especially since I prepare the meals and eat at home 95% of the time, I would go nuts if I did that.
So I got burned out on my bread. It got to the point where I would bake it and then not want to eat it. I could make it from memory. I started doing minor experimentation, hoping it would resurrect my desire to eat it. But I don't know enough about the science aspect of gluten free baking, nor do I have the time to get into it right now. It didn't change much from the original, and I needed more. More wheat-ish-ness, less rice-ish-ness. More soft texture, less spongy or cake-y texture. More flavor, less flexibility.
I took the easy road and asked the Google. Search: Amazing Gluten Free Bread Recipe. And I got this:
http://www.thebakingbeauties.com/2009/02/another-wonderful-gluten-free-sandwich-bread.html
Sadly, there are no instructions to make this in the bread machine, but that will come another day. It was Saturday, I had a slow cooker meal going and we had nowhere to be, so I made it the old fashioned way. With my KitchenAid mixer and a turn in the microwave to rise, just like Granny used to do!
I don't really remember what whole wheat bread tastes like, or what it feels like in your mouth, but this comes pretty close. Even T said, "That's pretty close." If you know him, the fact that he said anything besides a grunt and a "tastes good" is like a five-star review.
Pretty Darn Amazing Multi-Grain GF Bread
Ingredients:
1 cup warm water
2 tsp instant yeast
2 Tbsp granulated sugar
1 1/4 cup brown rice flour
1/4 cup ground flax
1/4 cup teff flour
1/2 cup potato starch
1/4 cup tapioca starch
1/4 cup dry nonfat milk powder
2 1/2 tsp xanthan gum
1 1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp unflavored gelatin
2 tsp apple cider vinegar
2 Tbsp vegetable oil
2 eggs
2 egg whites
Directions:
1. Combine warm water and sugar in a small bowl. Sprinkle yeast on top, let sit for a couple minutes and then stir. Let sit about 5 more minutes. This allows the yeast to proof & shortens rising time. Spray 9x5 loaf pan with cooking spray.
2. In a large bowl or plastic bag, combine dry ingredients. Mix well and set aside.
3. In a separate bowl, using a heavy-duty mixer with paddle attachment, combine remaining ingredients until well blended. Add water/yeast mixture & combine.
4. With mixer on lowest speed, slowly add dry ingredients until combined. Scrape bottom and sides of bowl with rubber spatula. With mixer on medium speed, beat for 4 minutes. Dough should be stretchy and pretty stiff. If the paddle leaves tracks that stand up, it's ready. If the tracks collapse, you probably need to add a little bit more rice flour. I added about 3 more tablespoons and beat for another 30 seconds.
5. Spoon into prepared bread pan. Let rise, uncovered, in a warm, draft-free place for 30-40 minutes, or until dough has risen to the top of the pan. I like to put a coffee mug of water into the microwave and warm it up for about a minute or until it starts to steam. Leave the cup in there and place your pan inside to rise where it is nice and humid and warm.
6. Meanwhile, preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Bake for 45 minutes or until loaf sounds hollow when tapped on the bottom of single loaf, it should be around 200 degrees.
7. Remove from oven, then remove loaf from pan, let rest on its side to prevent it from sinking.
8. Let cool before slicing. Wrap in plastic wrap (I like press and seal.)
*The original recipe used an 8x4 pan, but the loaf was plenty large enough for the 9x5.
*She used 1/2 cup of flax, but one of her reviewers suggested using 1/4 flax meal and 1/4 teff flour instead, which I did because I've been looking for a bread recipe to incorporate some teff.
*I also added the gelatin, you can leave it out if you don't have it or if you are not a fan.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Happy Early Birthday to Me!
Tonight my dad and his lovely bride, Jody, drove in to have dinner with us for my birthday. Because going out is stressful, I offered to make dinner. Tommy grilled steaks, I made mashed potatoes and corn... and this pie.
http://glutenfreeeasily.com/chocolate-silk-pie-recipe-gluten-free-dairy-free/
YUM! It turned out better than I had hoped.
A little backstory, my dad LOVES chocolate pie. I don't think I had ever had it before I met him. His wonderful mother usually makes it for him for his birthday, and at most family gatherings. Her traditional chocolate pie was my inspiration for making this pie, which is gluten free and can be made dairy free and grain free. It also has no added sweetener in the actual pie filling except for the sugar in the chocolate chips, and because the crust is almond flour and honey, it's low carb. So it's healthy pie!
Gluten Free Chocolate Silk Pie
Crust
2 cups almond flour ( I used Bob's Red Mill, but if you are not cooking for someone with celiac disease, you could get away with Whole Foods' bulk almond flour, it's half the price!)
1/3 cup honey
Filling
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (I used Ghirardelli)
1/2 cup butter (dairy or non-dairy)
pinch of salt
1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
3 eggs
2/3 cup canned full-fat milk of your preference (dairy, coconut)
1 tsp vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray pie plate with cooking spray.
Mix almond flour and honey in a small bowl. Drizzle honey evenly over flour, then use a fork to completely incorporate. Using fingers, pat into a crust in greased pie plate. Set pie plate aside.
In a large microwave safe bowl, heat butter for 30 seconds, then stir in chocolate chips. Heat for 30 more seconds, then stir, then for about 20 more seconds. Chocolate and butter should be completely melted, watch it closely so it doesn't scorch. Bowl will be hot!
Add to bowl salt, cocoa powder, eggs, milk, and vanilla extract, whisking after each addition until you have a smooth mixture.
Pour filling into crust.
Bake 30 minutes or until filling has puffed and toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool completely.
Refrigerate until ready to serve.
Garnish as desired. I topped this pie with honey sweetened whipped cream.
Honey Whipped Cream
1 cup heavy whipping cream (or coconut milk)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
2 teaspoons honey
Chill mixing bowl for at least twenty minutes prior to mixing. Add all ingredients to chilled bowl, then mix on high speed until thickened and, well, creamy, about 5 minutes. If you want to cover the entire top of the pie, you will need to double this amount, this is enough for a good heaping spoonful on each piece.
I changed a few things from the original recipe to suit my own needs. For example, next time I will mix the crust ingredients in a separate bowl and then press into a greased pie plate. I followed their instructions of mixing in the pie plate and the crust was completely stuck to the plate, but, duh, that's what honey does.
This brings me to the thought that this could be made crustless. The texture of the crust was nice, don't get me wrong, but if you are nut free, you wouldn't want the almond flour. The pie filling really firmed up nicely, and stood up to me having to dig the slices out of the plate, so I think an experiment is in order to see if I am right. It would also be a lot cheaper to make!
Also, I don't own a double boiler, nor am I talented enough to do the bowl over boiling water trick, so I cheated on the melting of the chocolate. But nobody complained about the process, they were too busy eating the pie!
http://glutenfreeeasily.com/chocolate-silk-pie-recipe-gluten-free-dairy-free/
YUM! It turned out better than I had hoped.
A little backstory, my dad LOVES chocolate pie. I don't think I had ever had it before I met him. His wonderful mother usually makes it for him for his birthday, and at most family gatherings. Her traditional chocolate pie was my inspiration for making this pie, which is gluten free and can be made dairy free and grain free. It also has no added sweetener in the actual pie filling except for the sugar in the chocolate chips, and because the crust is almond flour and honey, it's low carb. So it's healthy pie!
Gluten Free Chocolate Silk Pie
Crust
2 cups almond flour ( I used Bob's Red Mill, but if you are not cooking for someone with celiac disease, you could get away with Whole Foods' bulk almond flour, it's half the price!)
1/3 cup honey
Filling
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (I used Ghirardelli)
1/2 cup butter (dairy or non-dairy)
pinch of salt
1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
3 eggs
2/3 cup canned full-fat milk of your preference (dairy, coconut)
1 tsp vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray pie plate with cooking spray.
Mix almond flour and honey in a small bowl. Drizzle honey evenly over flour, then use a fork to completely incorporate. Using fingers, pat into a crust in greased pie plate. Set pie plate aside.
In a large microwave safe bowl, heat butter for 30 seconds, then stir in chocolate chips. Heat for 30 more seconds, then stir, then for about 20 more seconds. Chocolate and butter should be completely melted, watch it closely so it doesn't scorch. Bowl will be hot!
Add to bowl salt, cocoa powder, eggs, milk, and vanilla extract, whisking after each addition until you have a smooth mixture.
Pour filling into crust.
Bake 30 minutes or until filling has puffed and toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool completely.
Refrigerate until ready to serve.
Garnish as desired. I topped this pie with honey sweetened whipped cream.
Honey Whipped Cream
1 cup heavy whipping cream (or coconut milk)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
2 teaspoons honey
Chill mixing bowl for at least twenty minutes prior to mixing. Add all ingredients to chilled bowl, then mix on high speed until thickened and, well, creamy, about 5 minutes. If you want to cover the entire top of the pie, you will need to double this amount, this is enough for a good heaping spoonful on each piece.
I changed a few things from the original recipe to suit my own needs. For example, next time I will mix the crust ingredients in a separate bowl and then press into a greased pie plate. I followed their instructions of mixing in the pie plate and the crust was completely stuck to the plate, but, duh, that's what honey does.
This brings me to the thought that this could be made crustless. The texture of the crust was nice, don't get me wrong, but if you are nut free, you wouldn't want the almond flour. The pie filling really firmed up nicely, and stood up to me having to dig the slices out of the plate, so I think an experiment is in order to see if I am right. It would also be a lot cheaper to make!
Also, I don't own a double boiler, nor am I talented enough to do the bowl over boiling water trick, so I cheated on the melting of the chocolate. But nobody complained about the process, they were too busy eating the pie!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Gluten Free Granola Goodness
When you have a child or family member diagnosed with celiac disease, or any food intolerance or allergy for that matter, it changes everything you thought you knew about food.
It makes some foods necessary, and others become like invaders, or "germs" as my friend Julie refers to crumbs. And in a way, crumbs are like a germ, at least for Kate's little body.
No more brushing that extra amount of flour that spilled onto the counter into your bowl. No more picking food up off the table and eating it without a care. No more pot-lucks at your house, or at any house for that matter. You have to be conscious of every surface your food touches, every hand that comes into contact with your food, even the source of the food becomes a topic of conversation, and something you worry about at night.
I bet you don't think about what the guy on the tortilla manufacturing line had for lunch, huh?
But I am really lucky, because Kate is little and impressionable, and I get the opportunity to start her on this journey from such a young age. It is part of table etiquette, we don't touch the table and then touch our food, we don't eat food that has fallen off of our plate, we don't eat food from other people's plates. It's part of shopping, we read all of the ingredient labels and check to make sure that the company uses good manufacturing practices to prevent cross contamination. If we don't know what's in it, we don't eat it.
All of these rules and boundaries that we are setting for her now are to help train her to be a successful gluten free consumer and a healthy, happy person.
I have been looking for a quick, after school, nutritious, portable gluten free snack that Kate and Brooke will eat, and that Tommy and I would like to eat, too. Granola bars are very kid friendly and Tommy and I love them, too. But store-bought granola bars are about $5-6 for a box of 5 bars, no thank you!
I stumbled upon glutenfreeeasily.com, a great source of a bunch of different gluten free websites. This recipe caught my eye:
http://blog.attunefoods.com/2011/09/chewy-whole-grain-chocolate-chip-granola-bars/
The first batch I made subbed 1 cup of Kellogg's GF Rice Krispies and 1 cup Bob's Red Mill GF Old-fashioned Oats for the wheat cereal, and I used pecans instead of coconut. The taste was great but the bars didn't set up and I wound up with delicious chocolate chip granola cereal. A pleasant failure, if you will.
The second batch I made, I increased the amount of honey and let the pan cool all day to ensure that it was as firm as it was going to get. I also used Nature's Path Rice cereal, which is harder to find, but no BHT (preservative) and it had a better texture for the bar. In addition, I used the GF Quick Oats that I had left, which made the bar a little easier to chew. They turned out perfectly, if a little sweeter than I would have liked because of the extra honey.
Lindsay's GF Granola Bars
1 cup Nature's Path Crisped Rice Cereal
1 cup Bob's Red Mill GF Quick Oats
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1/2 cup golden raisins
1/2 cup chopped pecans
2 tbsp flax meal
1/8 tsp salt
1/8-1/4 tsp cinnamon (I just sprinkled a little into the bowl, I didn't measure it)
1/2 cup honey + 1 tbsp
Preheat oven to 350. Line an 8x8 inch pan with foil and then heavily spray foil with cooking spray.
In a large bowl, combine all ingredients except for honey. Mix well, then pour 1/2 cup of honey over the top. Mix well until all ingredients are moist. If needed, add remaining honey.
Scrape mixture into your prepared pan, with wet hands, press firmly and evenly into the pan.
Bake for 20 minutes or until the edges start to brown.
Remove from oven and let cool COMPLETELY in the pan. When cool, remove by lifting out the foil lining, and cut into bars. Depending on size, you will make 10-12 bars.
The combination of the pecan, cinnamon and cranberries is very fall-ish to me, perfect for a mid-morning or afternoon snack. The pecans take on a roasted flavor that I absolutely love. I think next time I will use the chocolate chips and regular raisins again and see if Kate likes them, I think she was a little weirded out by the golden raisins.
Oh well, more for me!
It makes some foods necessary, and others become like invaders, or "germs" as my friend Julie refers to crumbs. And in a way, crumbs are like a germ, at least for Kate's little body.
No more brushing that extra amount of flour that spilled onto the counter into your bowl. No more picking food up off the table and eating it without a care. No more pot-lucks at your house, or at any house for that matter. You have to be conscious of every surface your food touches, every hand that comes into contact with your food, even the source of the food becomes a topic of conversation, and something you worry about at night.
I bet you don't think about what the guy on the tortilla manufacturing line had for lunch, huh?
But I am really lucky, because Kate is little and impressionable, and I get the opportunity to start her on this journey from such a young age. It is part of table etiquette, we don't touch the table and then touch our food, we don't eat food that has fallen off of our plate, we don't eat food from other people's plates. It's part of shopping, we read all of the ingredient labels and check to make sure that the company uses good manufacturing practices to prevent cross contamination. If we don't know what's in it, we don't eat it.
All of these rules and boundaries that we are setting for her now are to help train her to be a successful gluten free consumer and a healthy, happy person.
I have been looking for a quick, after school, nutritious, portable gluten free snack that Kate and Brooke will eat, and that Tommy and I would like to eat, too. Granola bars are very kid friendly and Tommy and I love them, too. But store-bought granola bars are about $5-6 for a box of 5 bars, no thank you!
I stumbled upon glutenfreeeasily.com, a great source of a bunch of different gluten free websites. This recipe caught my eye:
http://blog.attunefoods.com/2011/09/chewy-whole-grain-chocolate-chip-granola-bars/
The first batch I made subbed 1 cup of Kellogg's GF Rice Krispies and 1 cup Bob's Red Mill GF Old-fashioned Oats for the wheat cereal, and I used pecans instead of coconut. The taste was great but the bars didn't set up and I wound up with delicious chocolate chip granola cereal. A pleasant failure, if you will.
The second batch I made, I increased the amount of honey and let the pan cool all day to ensure that it was as firm as it was going to get. I also used Nature's Path Rice cereal, which is harder to find, but no BHT (preservative) and it had a better texture for the bar. In addition, I used the GF Quick Oats that I had left, which made the bar a little easier to chew. They turned out perfectly, if a little sweeter than I would have liked because of the extra honey.
Lindsay's GF Granola Bars
1 cup Nature's Path Crisped Rice Cereal
1 cup Bob's Red Mill GF Quick Oats
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1/2 cup golden raisins
1/2 cup chopped pecans
2 tbsp flax meal
1/8 tsp salt
1/8-1/4 tsp cinnamon (I just sprinkled a little into the bowl, I didn't measure it)
1/2 cup honey + 1 tbsp
Preheat oven to 350. Line an 8x8 inch pan with foil and then heavily spray foil with cooking spray.
In a large bowl, combine all ingredients except for honey. Mix well, then pour 1/2 cup of honey over the top. Mix well until all ingredients are moist. If needed, add remaining honey.
Scrape mixture into your prepared pan, with wet hands, press firmly and evenly into the pan.
Bake for 20 minutes or until the edges start to brown.
Remove from oven and let cool COMPLETELY in the pan. When cool, remove by lifting out the foil lining, and cut into bars. Depending on size, you will make 10-12 bars.
The combination of the pecan, cinnamon and cranberries is very fall-ish to me, perfect for a mid-morning or afternoon snack. The pecans take on a roasted flavor that I absolutely love. I think next time I will use the chocolate chips and regular raisins again and see if Kate likes them, I think she was a little weirded out by the golden raisins.
Oh well, more for me!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
The Wife of Noble Character
"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes." - Proverbs 31:10-24
I love Proverbs 31. It is full of outdated activities and it tends to make the modern woman a little prickly. A little trivia, it is actually an acrostic poem, where each verse begins with a successive letter of the Hebrew alphabet. I feel that because of the language used, it doesn't have much attention paid to it, or that women tend to disregard it as archaic. I completely disagree, and feel that it can easily apply to women today.
At first glance, the woman of the beginning section of Proverbs 31 is That Woman. The one who is always on time, pressed and dressed, with a smile on her face and a kind word on her tongue. The one who you see and say, "I wonder how she does it?" But there is more to Proverbs 31 than to give us a standard to live up to, or to make us feel less than satisfied with how we perform as wives and mothers.
The beginning verses describe a woman who is confident and self sufficient. She is prudent with her resources and busy keeping her home running smoothly. She is charitable and giving, and she maintains her home so that when storms come in, she is not caught unprepared. She dresses in the nicest clothing that she has, and her husband is proud of her. She contributes to her family's income by using her talents in a way that brings honor to her home.
How is this any different from any of us? We are all busy mothers, we prepare for life's storms, we dress ourselves with the intention of feeling comfortable and confident. We give time and money to those who are needy, and our husbands are proud of us.
"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."" - Proverbs 31:25-29
This is my favorite section. It describes the character of the woman I would like to be when I grow up. Some of you are already there, you are already wise. You women who I look up to, you see the beauty and the humor of the mundane. You are comfortable in your skin and you speak your minds, guiding your family with strength. You are in the groove, enjoying your life. Your children see that the amazing woman who raised them is a blessing to them and to others, not just their maid, or their taxi driver. And your husband knows what a lucky man he is to have you!
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."- Proverbs 31:30-31
And this last section brings us crashing back to reality. No matter how charming or how beautiful we are, or how talented and hardworking we are, from our relationship with God, that is where we will receive our reward. Let us not lose sight of that, and let us not get caught up in "keeping up with Mrs. Jones."
Dear God, we thank You for providing us with the tools to be strong women, wives and mothers. We ask for your guidance, please introduce women into our lives who will influence us positively, and help us be positive role models to others. In Your Name we pray, amen.
I love Proverbs 31. It is full of outdated activities and it tends to make the modern woman a little prickly. A little trivia, it is actually an acrostic poem, where each verse begins with a successive letter of the Hebrew alphabet. I feel that because of the language used, it doesn't have much attention paid to it, or that women tend to disregard it as archaic. I completely disagree, and feel that it can easily apply to women today.
At first glance, the woman of the beginning section of Proverbs 31 is That Woman. The one who is always on time, pressed and dressed, with a smile on her face and a kind word on her tongue. The one who you see and say, "I wonder how she does it?" But there is more to Proverbs 31 than to give us a standard to live up to, or to make us feel less than satisfied with how we perform as wives and mothers.
The beginning verses describe a woman who is confident and self sufficient. She is prudent with her resources and busy keeping her home running smoothly. She is charitable and giving, and she maintains her home so that when storms come in, she is not caught unprepared. She dresses in the nicest clothing that she has, and her husband is proud of her. She contributes to her family's income by using her talents in a way that brings honor to her home.
How is this any different from any of us? We are all busy mothers, we prepare for life's storms, we dress ourselves with the intention of feeling comfortable and confident. We give time and money to those who are needy, and our husbands are proud of us.
"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."" - Proverbs 31:25-29
This is my favorite section. It describes the character of the woman I would like to be when I grow up. Some of you are already there, you are already wise. You women who I look up to, you see the beauty and the humor of the mundane. You are comfortable in your skin and you speak your minds, guiding your family with strength. You are in the groove, enjoying your life. Your children see that the amazing woman who raised them is a blessing to them and to others, not just their maid, or their taxi driver. And your husband knows what a lucky man he is to have you!
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."- Proverbs 31:30-31
And this last section brings us crashing back to reality. No matter how charming or how beautiful we are, or how talented and hardworking we are, from our relationship with God, that is where we will receive our reward. Let us not lose sight of that, and let us not get caught up in "keeping up with Mrs. Jones."
Dear God, we thank You for providing us with the tools to be strong women, wives and mothers. We ask for your guidance, please introduce women into our lives who will influence us positively, and help us be positive role models to others. In Your Name we pray, amen.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Life Story
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." - Phillippians 4:12-13
It is easy to feel like what we have isn't enough. We are constantly bombarded with advertisements for whiter teeth, smoother thighs, fuller lips. We watch "reality" tv shows and the lives of the "Real Housewives" are full of luxury and opportunity. Our children misbehave, while other children seem angelic in comparison, and we wonder why it is so easy for everyone else.
The answer is, it's not. Everyone has struggles and skeletons, scars that we see and those that we don't.
I come from a very different environment than the one in which we are raising our children. My mom worked as a library aide and started taking college courses at night when I was five. My daddy was a welder and a laborer, mainly building waterfront retaining walls and boat docks or installing awnings for the wealthier residents of Lake Dunlap. He struggled with alcoholism and mental illness for most of his life. Sometimes there was work and sometimes there wasn't, and we were occasionally recipients of welfare. We had happy times, but I knew something wasn't right.
My parents divorced when I was in the fourth grade. My mom remarried and was finishing her teaching degree, and by most accounts, we were a happy, lower middle class blended family. My step dad was a band director at the high school, my mom eventually taught middle school science, and there were five kids from 11 to 15, all living in a two bedroom, one bathroom rental house in an older neighborhood.
I thought we had won the lottery. My step dad was stable, he was happy, he never drank anything stronger than iced tea. He loved me and my sister as if we were his. I grabbed his hand on the day I met him and never let go.
I didn't see my daddy much. He didn't always have the right to visitation because he was in and out of treatment and sometimes jail for a year. I loved my daddy very much and it was a very hard time in my life.
And then my daddy passed away. He took his own life in the summer between fifth and sixth grade. I was spending the night at a friend's house and my mom came to pick me up very early. We got to our house and my sister was sitting in the kitchen staring into the backyard. She had left two days before for a weeklong trip to the coast with her best friend's family. It was so confusing to see her there. My mom and step dad took me into their bedroom in the back of the house and told me that my daddy was gone.
I remember feeling nothing, empty. I went into the room that I shared with my sister and two stepsisters and laid down on my bunk bed. I did that a lot for the next few days. My daddy's funeral is a blurry memory. It was horrible.
Psalm 11:17-18 says, "You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed, in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more."
I think about this story of mine, and how it could so easily be the beginning of a life of sadness and self doubt. But instead it is a story of how God provided me with so much. He gave me a daddy who loved me as a little girl, and took me fishing and camping, and let me sit with him while he was dove hunting, no matter how loud I was.
And then He gave me a dad who loved me when he didn't have to, and walked me down the aisle at my wedding, and was there when I had my babies, and holds my hand and doesn't let go.
And He gave me my faith in my Heavenly Father, the One who guides me and gives me strength when I have none.
So I think of all that I have in my life, and I am blessed.
Dear God, thank you for all of the blessings and opportunities that you have given us in this life. Help us to feel contentment in our lives, and give us strength to walk through devestation. In Your Holy Name we pray, amen.
It is easy to feel like what we have isn't enough. We are constantly bombarded with advertisements for whiter teeth, smoother thighs, fuller lips. We watch "reality" tv shows and the lives of the "Real Housewives" are full of luxury and opportunity. Our children misbehave, while other children seem angelic in comparison, and we wonder why it is so easy for everyone else.
The answer is, it's not. Everyone has struggles and skeletons, scars that we see and those that we don't.
I come from a very different environment than the one in which we are raising our children. My mom worked as a library aide and started taking college courses at night when I was five. My daddy was a welder and a laborer, mainly building waterfront retaining walls and boat docks or installing awnings for the wealthier residents of Lake Dunlap. He struggled with alcoholism and mental illness for most of his life. Sometimes there was work and sometimes there wasn't, and we were occasionally recipients of welfare. We had happy times, but I knew something wasn't right.
My parents divorced when I was in the fourth grade. My mom remarried and was finishing her teaching degree, and by most accounts, we were a happy, lower middle class blended family. My step dad was a band director at the high school, my mom eventually taught middle school science, and there were five kids from 11 to 15, all living in a two bedroom, one bathroom rental house in an older neighborhood.
I thought we had won the lottery. My step dad was stable, he was happy, he never drank anything stronger than iced tea. He loved me and my sister as if we were his. I grabbed his hand on the day I met him and never let go.
I didn't see my daddy much. He didn't always have the right to visitation because he was in and out of treatment and sometimes jail for a year. I loved my daddy very much and it was a very hard time in my life.
And then my daddy passed away. He took his own life in the summer between fifth and sixth grade. I was spending the night at a friend's house and my mom came to pick me up very early. We got to our house and my sister was sitting in the kitchen staring into the backyard. She had left two days before for a weeklong trip to the coast with her best friend's family. It was so confusing to see her there. My mom and step dad took me into their bedroom in the back of the house and told me that my daddy was gone.
I remember feeling nothing, empty. I went into the room that I shared with my sister and two stepsisters and laid down on my bunk bed. I did that a lot for the next few days. My daddy's funeral is a blurry memory. It was horrible.
Psalm 11:17-18 says, "You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed, in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more."
I think about this story of mine, and how it could so easily be the beginning of a life of sadness and self doubt. But instead it is a story of how God provided me with so much. He gave me a daddy who loved me as a little girl, and took me fishing and camping, and let me sit with him while he was dove hunting, no matter how loud I was.
And then He gave me a dad who loved me when he didn't have to, and walked me down the aisle at my wedding, and was there when I had my babies, and holds my hand and doesn't let go.
And He gave me my faith in my Heavenly Father, the One who guides me and gives me strength when I have none.
So I think of all that I have in my life, and I am blessed.
Dear God, thank you for all of the blessings and opportunities that you have given us in this life. Help us to feel contentment in our lives, and give us strength to walk through devestation. In Your Holy Name we pray, amen.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Movie and a Pizza
Our house has movie night on Fridays, I try to get my act together early enough to make pizza. This afternoon we got some big clouds and it got really cool and breezy so we spent some time in the yard with the neighbors. So pizza is coming AFTER the movie, oh well, flexibility is a great thing.
Tonight's movie is Mary Poppins and the pizza is 1 part cheese, 2 parts veggie and 3 parts pepperoni.
Here's Stephanie's delicious pizza recipe, I've added my two cents:
3 Tbsp yeast
2 C brown rice flour
1.5 C tapioca
6 Tbsp powdered milk
2 Tbsp xanthan gum
1.5 tsp salt
3 tsp unflavored gelatin
2 C warm water
1.5 tsp sugar
3 tsp extra virgin olive oil
3 tsp vinegar
Optional- cornmeal, grated parmesan cheese, garlic powder, toppings
1. Set oven to 425 degrees.
2. Blend all dry ingredients on low speed with a mixer. Slowly add water, oil and vinegar.
3. Beat on high speed for 4 minutes. If dough is too thick, add more warm water.
4. Grease the pan, I also sprinkle the bottom of the pan with cornmeal, then press the dough onto the pan with wet hands and smooth out. Cover lightly and let rise for about 20 minutes.
5. Sprinkle uncooked crust with parmesan cheese and garlic powder if desired.
6. Cook about 12 minutes or until golden and not shiny.
7. Remove and add toppings.
8. Bake an additional 7-10 minutes. Just keep a close eye on it, the cheese will melt and edges will get a darker brown.
I make about a 16 inch large, you can also make two smaller and parbake one crust and freeze for later.
It's pretty good! The best gf pizza recipe I've made!
Tonight's movie is Mary Poppins and the pizza is 1 part cheese, 2 parts veggie and 3 parts pepperoni.
Here's Stephanie's delicious pizza recipe, I've added my two cents:
3 Tbsp yeast
2 C brown rice flour
1.5 C tapioca
6 Tbsp powdered milk
2 Tbsp xanthan gum
1.5 tsp salt
3 tsp unflavored gelatin
2 C warm water
1.5 tsp sugar
3 tsp extra virgin olive oil
3 tsp vinegar
Optional- cornmeal, grated parmesan cheese, garlic powder, toppings
1. Set oven to 425 degrees.
2. Blend all dry ingredients on low speed with a mixer. Slowly add water, oil and vinegar.
3. Beat on high speed for 4 minutes. If dough is too thick, add more warm water.
4. Grease the pan, I also sprinkle the bottom of the pan with cornmeal, then press the dough onto the pan with wet hands and smooth out. Cover lightly and let rise for about 20 minutes.
5. Sprinkle uncooked crust with parmesan cheese and garlic powder if desired.
6. Cook about 12 minutes or until golden and not shiny.
7. Remove and add toppings.
8. Bake an additional 7-10 minutes. Just keep a close eye on it, the cheese will melt and edges will get a darker brown.
I make about a 16 inch large, you can also make two smaller and parbake one crust and freeze for later.
It's pretty good! The best gf pizza recipe I've made!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Bread Wars
My baking career started in the spring of 7th grade in Home Economics with Ms. Candy Sober. (I have her to thank for teaching me how to spoon and scrape for an accurate measurement of dry ingredients, which really comes in handy when baking with heavier gluten free flours.) We made biscuits, and mine turned out pretty tasty in class. However, when I tried to make them at home, the story had a much less delicious ending...
The Scene: Our kitchen on Kraft Lane. The Year: 1996 (In the background you can hear Aeroplane by Foo Fighters playing on 101X...)
Lindsay (to herself) - "Baking powder or baking soda? Hmm, sounds the same. Now was that supposed to be teaspoons or tablespoons? Oh well, more is always better!"
I have come a long way from those salty, dense, nasty little rocks. Poor Randy, I think I made him eat one. Sorry!
Anyway, I never would have guessed that I would one day be baking at least two, sometimes three loaves of bread a week from scratch. But I do.
To start this adventure, I bought a loaf of pre-made store bread at a very expensive natural food store. Because that's what you do when you are completely overwhelmed, you throw money at the problem.
The most popular GF sandwich bread is about $6 for a teeny little loaf of something like 10 slices. It's an 8"x4" loaf. And I think the predominant flour is tapioca flour, which makes me shudder, literally, to think about. It's kinda, um, squeaky in your teeth. I'm seriously still shuddering. Anyway, I figured, I don't have to eat it, and as long as Kate doesn't mind, I'll just buy it and send it for her school sandwich and we just won't ever eat bread again.
So that lasted about a month, but Kate didn't really like that bread either. It got soggy in her lunchbox and it was not good toasted. And I really wanted to eat a piece of toast or have a sandwich. We went to a friend's house for a GF play date. She baked a lovely little loaf of bread in her fancy shmancy Zogamathingie bread maker and I tried a piece. I could have cried, it was actually really good! So she shared the recipe with me, along with one other recipe.
http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/05/how-to-make-gluten-free-sandwich-bread-recipe.html
and
http://glutenfreemommy.com/baking-gluten-free-bread-millet-oatmeal-bread/
So I went home with Stephanie's recipes and little tips and dove in.
And I learned that I do not like the aftertaste of millet flour. It's a little metallic and a lot bitter, and it didn't help that it was the loaf when I forgot the xanthan gum. I had two little loaves of REALLY expensive brick-like bread that tasted good until you swallowed. So I never tried it again, but try it if you want! Some people LOVE millet, they all say it is so mild tasting, so maybe it's just me. Stephanie says this bread is her favorite.
So then I tried to make the first recipe and it was much more successful. And cheaper, easier, and totally kid/family friendly. Every time I made it I made little adjustments here and there, so here is my new and improved recipe as of today:
Lindsay's House GF Sandwich Bread- adapted from Elizabeth Barbone's Gluten Free sandwich bread recipe
Dry Ingredients
1 packet yeast (or 2 1/4 tsp)
1/2 tsp sugar (to proof the yeast, could use honey instead or omit)
2 cups brown rice flour
1/2 cup sorghum flour
2/3 cup dry milk powder (or dry milk substitute)
2/3 cup cornstarch
1 tbsp xanthan gum
1 tsp salt
1 tsp unflavored gelatin (sold in the boxed jello or the canning section, little boxes with 5-6 paper packets, each packet holds roughly 2 tsp.)
Wet Ingredients
1 3/4 cup warm water
1 whole egg
2 egg whites
2 tbsp vegetable oil
1. Run the tap water until hot and fill a small ovenproof bowl with hot water. Place in bottom rack of oven. Then turn on oven to 200 degrees. When temperature is reached, turn off the oven, keep the door closed.
2. While oven is heating, fill a 2 cup measuring cup to 1 3/4 cups with WARM water, not hot, you will kill your yeast. Around 105 degrees is good. Add yeast and sugar to water, then set aside. Your yeast should grow and foam if it is alive, if it does nothing, it's time for new yeast.
3.While your yeast is proofing, measure out the remaining dry ingredients into your mixing bowl. By now, your oven should be warm and steamy, which will help the bread rise. Don't forget to turn it off before your put your bread in the oven!
4.Turn your mixer on low to combine dry ingredients, then add in yeast mixture, egg and egg whites and oil. Mix all ingredients together on low until combined, then turn to medium high and beat for 5 minutes or until the batter looks like stretchy thick cake batter. If it looks too thick, add more water one tablespoon at a time. If it looks too thin, add more rice flour one tablespoon at a time.
5. Grease a 9x5 inch bread pan, then scrape the batter into the pan. It will be sticky. You can smooth it with a greased spatula to make it pretty, but I don't!
6. Place in muggy oven and cover lightly with a clean, lightweight dishtowel. Close the oven door and let rise for 1 hour. MAKE SURE YOUR OVEN IS OFF!
7. When bread is about an inch above the top of the pan, or about an hour later, remove the bread from the oven, keeping it covered. REMOVE THE BOWL OF WATER FROM THE BOTTOM RACK. Turn the oven on to 350 degrees, and when it is ready, remove the dishtowel and place in the oven.
8. Bake at 350 degrees for 55 minutes or until the internal temperature is 210 degrees. It should sound hollow if thumped. Remove from oven and immediately remove from pan to let cool. This will help keep it from getting soggy and give you a nice crust. I lay mine on its side on a wire rack.
*Let it cool completely or until a little warm to the touch before slicing or it will be crumbly. This is good for sandwiches, warm and cold, and toasted with butter. I really do love this bread!
*The gelatin is my newest addition. I'm trying to figure out what it is I like about it. I think it makes it a little fluffier, which also makes it a little more crumbly, but not in a bad way.
*Stephanie also adds a tablespoon or so of flax for fiber.
*You could probably substitute potato starch or tapioca starch (if that's your thing) for the cornstarch.
*Today I ran out of brown rice flour, so I used about 1 1/3 cups brown rice flour and 2/3 white rice flour. It turned out a little lighter and had a milder flavor.
*I have only ever made this with a stand mixer, if you use a hand mixer you will have to beat your ingredients longer to get the same results.
If anyone tries it, let me know how it turns out, and let me know if you have any suggestions.
The Scene: Our kitchen on Kraft Lane. The Year: 1996 (In the background you can hear Aeroplane by Foo Fighters playing on 101X...)
Lindsay (to herself) - "Baking powder or baking soda? Hmm, sounds the same. Now was that supposed to be teaspoons or tablespoons? Oh well, more is always better!"
I have come a long way from those salty, dense, nasty little rocks. Poor Randy, I think I made him eat one. Sorry!
Anyway, I never would have guessed that I would one day be baking at least two, sometimes three loaves of bread a week from scratch. But I do.
To start this adventure, I bought a loaf of pre-made store bread at a very expensive natural food store. Because that's what you do when you are completely overwhelmed, you throw money at the problem.
The most popular GF sandwich bread is about $6 for a teeny little loaf of something like 10 slices. It's an 8"x4" loaf. And I think the predominant flour is tapioca flour, which makes me shudder, literally, to think about. It's kinda, um, squeaky in your teeth. I'm seriously still shuddering. Anyway, I figured, I don't have to eat it, and as long as Kate doesn't mind, I'll just buy it and send it for her school sandwich and we just won't ever eat bread again.
So that lasted about a month, but Kate didn't really like that bread either. It got soggy in her lunchbox and it was not good toasted. And I really wanted to eat a piece of toast or have a sandwich. We went to a friend's house for a GF play date. She baked a lovely little loaf of bread in her fancy shmancy Zogamathingie bread maker and I tried a piece. I could have cried, it was actually really good! So she shared the recipe with me, along with one other recipe.
http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/05/how-to-make-gluten-free-sandwich-bread-recipe.html
and
http://glutenfreemommy.com/baking-gluten-free-bread-millet-oatmeal-bread/
So I went home with Stephanie's recipes and little tips and dove in.
And I learned that I do not like the aftertaste of millet flour. It's a little metallic and a lot bitter, and it didn't help that it was the loaf when I forgot the xanthan gum. I had two little loaves of REALLY expensive brick-like bread that tasted good until you swallowed. So I never tried it again, but try it if you want! Some people LOVE millet, they all say it is so mild tasting, so maybe it's just me. Stephanie says this bread is her favorite.
So then I tried to make the first recipe and it was much more successful. And cheaper, easier, and totally kid/family friendly. Every time I made it I made little adjustments here and there, so here is my new and improved recipe as of today:
Lindsay's House GF Sandwich Bread- adapted from Elizabeth Barbone's Gluten Free sandwich bread recipe
Dry Ingredients
1 packet yeast (or 2 1/4 tsp)
1/2 tsp sugar (to proof the yeast, could use honey instead or omit)
2 cups brown rice flour
1/2 cup sorghum flour
2/3 cup dry milk powder (or dry milk substitute)
2/3 cup cornstarch
1 tbsp xanthan gum
1 tsp salt
1 tsp unflavored gelatin (sold in the boxed jello or the canning section, little boxes with 5-6 paper packets, each packet holds roughly 2 tsp.)
Wet Ingredients
1 3/4 cup warm water
1 whole egg
2 egg whites
2 tbsp vegetable oil
1. Run the tap water until hot and fill a small ovenproof bowl with hot water. Place in bottom rack of oven. Then turn on oven to 200 degrees. When temperature is reached, turn off the oven, keep the door closed.
2. While oven is heating, fill a 2 cup measuring cup to 1 3/4 cups with WARM water, not hot, you will kill your yeast. Around 105 degrees is good. Add yeast and sugar to water, then set aside. Your yeast should grow and foam if it is alive, if it does nothing, it's time for new yeast.
3.While your yeast is proofing, measure out the remaining dry ingredients into your mixing bowl. By now, your oven should be warm and steamy, which will help the bread rise. Don't forget to turn it off before your put your bread in the oven!
4.Turn your mixer on low to combine dry ingredients, then add in yeast mixture, egg and egg whites and oil. Mix all ingredients together on low until combined, then turn to medium high and beat for 5 minutes or until the batter looks like stretchy thick cake batter. If it looks too thick, add more water one tablespoon at a time. If it looks too thin, add more rice flour one tablespoon at a time.
5. Grease a 9x5 inch bread pan, then scrape the batter into the pan. It will be sticky. You can smooth it with a greased spatula to make it pretty, but I don't!
6. Place in muggy oven and cover lightly with a clean, lightweight dishtowel. Close the oven door and let rise for 1 hour. MAKE SURE YOUR OVEN IS OFF!
7. When bread is about an inch above the top of the pan, or about an hour later, remove the bread from the oven, keeping it covered. REMOVE THE BOWL OF WATER FROM THE BOTTOM RACK. Turn the oven on to 350 degrees, and when it is ready, remove the dishtowel and place in the oven.
8. Bake at 350 degrees for 55 minutes or until the internal temperature is 210 degrees. It should sound hollow if thumped. Remove from oven and immediately remove from pan to let cool. This will help keep it from getting soggy and give you a nice crust. I lay mine on its side on a wire rack.
*Let it cool completely or until a little warm to the touch before slicing or it will be crumbly. This is good for sandwiches, warm and cold, and toasted with butter. I really do love this bread!
*The gelatin is my newest addition. I'm trying to figure out what it is I like about it. I think it makes it a little fluffier, which also makes it a little more crumbly, but not in a bad way.
*Stephanie also adds a tablespoon or so of flax for fiber.
*You could probably substitute potato starch or tapioca starch (if that's your thing) for the cornstarch.
*Today I ran out of brown rice flour, so I used about 1 1/3 cups brown rice flour and 2/3 white rice flour. It turned out a little lighter and had a milder flavor.
*I have only ever made this with a stand mixer, if you use a hand mixer you will have to beat your ingredients longer to get the same results.
If anyone tries it, let me know how it turns out, and let me know if you have any suggestions.
The Still, Small Voice
"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory." - Psalms 73:23-24
Have you ever had a problem that just baffles you? You know there is something wrong and no matter what you do, you just can't figure out how to fix it or where to turn. And then, in an instant, you pursue a totally different path and things just start easily falling into place. You experience a sense of peace and you think, "Man, I am so smart. I am so glad I followed my intuition, my gut feeling was so right." You give yourself a little pat on the back.
Are we giving credit where credit is due? Have we miraculously gained intelligence? Or is something else at play here, something outside of us?
I had this experience a few months ago. Kate was exceptionally irritable and disobedient, and we felt like we had tried everything. We had taken away toys, yelled, taken away story time, stripped her room, spanked her bottom, put her in timeout, threatened to pull her out of her favorite activities. Nothing seemed to make an impression. She would be sad, and then she would do it again. One day, when I was about to flip my lid, a little thought popped into my head.
"What about positive reinforcement?"
What? Where did that come from? It was so completely opposite of my frame of mind, it literally stopped me in my tracks. I was in the process of going up the stairs to strip her room for the umpteenth time, and I turned around, picked up my crying, angry, upset three year old, put her in my lap and hugged her until we both calmed down. And that was the turning of a page.
I think these moments of divine intervention come from us being at our wit's end, knowing we can't keep following the current path. If we see our little ones about to fall, we reach down and grab them, pulling them out of danger. God sees us struggling and reaches out, giving us guidance, comfort, peace or passion. The Amy Grant song, "Better Than a Hallelujah," illustrates this so well, "We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody. Beautiful, the mess we are, the honest cries of breaking hearts are better than a hallelujah." God hears these cries and helps us through these low times.
Be vigilant. The words that you hear in the midst of the chatter of life can be coming from you, your friends, or maybe "experts." Your thoughts could be influenced by negativity, which comes from Satan, or they could be positive, which obviously comes from God. We sometimes overlook or overthink these little flashes of wisdom, or we ignore them and give in to our temper. Listen for that still, small voice.
My Aunt Sallie, who is an amazing woman, mother, and minister, takes opportunities to "unplug." She has a busy life with an active church, six children ranging in age from 25 to 4, and a heart split on two continents, one-half in her community and one-half in Burundi. She deserves downtime, don't we all! She will take a cup of tea, go to a quiet bench in the park, leave her phone in the car, and just be. She doesn't really think about things, she just is. This time for herself is time alone with God.
Maybe you can't take an hour, maybe you can only take five minutes. Be still yourself, clear thoughts of daily responsibilities, feelings of guilt or negativity away, and just listen.
Habakkuk 2:1 says, "I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint."
How does God speak to you? Is it a sudden thought? Do you hear actual words or just feel compelled into action?
Dear God, we thank You for Your guidance and for hearing our cries. Please help us follow You and thank You for the many blessings that we have been given. In Your Holy Name we pray, amen.
Have you ever had a problem that just baffles you? You know there is something wrong and no matter what you do, you just can't figure out how to fix it or where to turn. And then, in an instant, you pursue a totally different path and things just start easily falling into place. You experience a sense of peace and you think, "Man, I am so smart. I am so glad I followed my intuition, my gut feeling was so right." You give yourself a little pat on the back.
Are we giving credit where credit is due? Have we miraculously gained intelligence? Or is something else at play here, something outside of us?
I had this experience a few months ago. Kate was exceptionally irritable and disobedient, and we felt like we had tried everything. We had taken away toys, yelled, taken away story time, stripped her room, spanked her bottom, put her in timeout, threatened to pull her out of her favorite activities. Nothing seemed to make an impression. She would be sad, and then she would do it again. One day, when I was about to flip my lid, a little thought popped into my head.
"What about positive reinforcement?"
What? Where did that come from? It was so completely opposite of my frame of mind, it literally stopped me in my tracks. I was in the process of going up the stairs to strip her room for the umpteenth time, and I turned around, picked up my crying, angry, upset three year old, put her in my lap and hugged her until we both calmed down. And that was the turning of a page.
I think these moments of divine intervention come from us being at our wit's end, knowing we can't keep following the current path. If we see our little ones about to fall, we reach down and grab them, pulling them out of danger. God sees us struggling and reaches out, giving us guidance, comfort, peace or passion. The Amy Grant song, "Better Than a Hallelujah," illustrates this so well, "We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody. Beautiful, the mess we are, the honest cries of breaking hearts are better than a hallelujah." God hears these cries and helps us through these low times.
Be vigilant. The words that you hear in the midst of the chatter of life can be coming from you, your friends, or maybe "experts." Your thoughts could be influenced by negativity, which comes from Satan, or they could be positive, which obviously comes from God. We sometimes overlook or overthink these little flashes of wisdom, or we ignore them and give in to our temper. Listen for that still, small voice.
My Aunt Sallie, who is an amazing woman, mother, and minister, takes opportunities to "unplug." She has a busy life with an active church, six children ranging in age from 25 to 4, and a heart split on two continents, one-half in her community and one-half in Burundi. She deserves downtime, don't we all! She will take a cup of tea, go to a quiet bench in the park, leave her phone in the car, and just be. She doesn't really think about things, she just is. This time for herself is time alone with God.
Maybe you can't take an hour, maybe you can only take five minutes. Be still yourself, clear thoughts of daily responsibilities, feelings of guilt or negativity away, and just listen.
Habakkuk 2:1 says, "I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint."
How does God speak to you? Is it a sudden thought? Do you hear actual words or just feel compelled into action?
Dear God, we thank You for Your guidance and for hearing our cries. Please help us follow You and thank You for the many blessings that we have been given. In Your Holy Name we pray, amen.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
For Those Of Us Who Are Always Right
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." - Ephesians 5:21
This weekend I had the pleasure of driving during five o'clock traffic in North Dallas. At the busy interchange of George Bush Turnpike and the North Dallas Tollway, the east and westbound traffic coming from the Turnpike come together before entering the Tollway. At the junction where these two groups meet is a yellow road sign with two conjoined arrows and the word, "Merge."
And the amazing thing is, mostly everyone did. Here in Houston, there would probably have been some serious road rage going on, but the commuters yielded to one another, kept the flow of traffic moving, and the collective blood pressure relatively low. Occasionally, someone would not want to yield to the other lane, but for the most part, everyone took turns. Incredible.
Submission is not a comfortable state for most of us. We do not want to be in a position of submission, we want to be in a position of power. We do not want to find ourselves suddenly having to answer for what we have done. Sometimes this means breaking the rules or ignoring directions.
God's directions and rules are about as blatant as a yellow and black road sign that says, "MERGE." There they all are in black and white, and yet we question them and place our own translation on them. We push the limits, we toe the line. Then our hearts ask us, "What do you think you are doing?!"
We are human, imperfect, selfish. We see the word, "SUBMIT" and we think of servitude. But in this relationship with each other, we are to submit, not in the spirit of obedience, but by yielding to one another. It keeps us moving. It prevents deadlock.
How many times have I found myself resisting submission? In my relationships with friends, I have had times when I refuse to see their point of view, and eventually, sadly, the friendship is lost. In a battle of wills with my two year old, I find myself in a competition to see who can yell the loudest. Not very productive! And don't get me started on what happens when an immoveable mass marries an unstoppable force.
How is this life sustaining? How can this constant turmoil be good for me, for my family? Our stubborn natures collide, we find ourselves in a stalemate, and nothing is accomplished.
James 3:17-18 says, "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness."
This sounds like the description of my adored kindergarten teacher, Ms. Jana Harkins, or my sweet Nanny, Beth. How did they get there? They learned to MERGE. They learned to pick their battles. We are on our way, we are just not quite there yet. Each day is a new opportunity for us to sow in peace.
Dear God, please help us to be peacemakers in our homes. Help us yield our stubborn natures so that we may have spirit of submission in honor of you. AMEN!
This weekend I had the pleasure of driving during five o'clock traffic in North Dallas. At the busy interchange of George Bush Turnpike and the North Dallas Tollway, the east and westbound traffic coming from the Turnpike come together before entering the Tollway. At the junction where these two groups meet is a yellow road sign with two conjoined arrows and the word, "Merge."
And the amazing thing is, mostly everyone did. Here in Houston, there would probably have been some serious road rage going on, but the commuters yielded to one another, kept the flow of traffic moving, and the collective blood pressure relatively low. Occasionally, someone would not want to yield to the other lane, but for the most part, everyone took turns. Incredible.
Submission is not a comfortable state for most of us. We do not want to be in a position of submission, we want to be in a position of power. We do not want to find ourselves suddenly having to answer for what we have done. Sometimes this means breaking the rules or ignoring directions.
God's directions and rules are about as blatant as a yellow and black road sign that says, "MERGE." There they all are in black and white, and yet we question them and place our own translation on them. We push the limits, we toe the line. Then our hearts ask us, "What do you think you are doing?!"
We are human, imperfect, selfish. We see the word, "SUBMIT" and we think of servitude. But in this relationship with each other, we are to submit, not in the spirit of obedience, but by yielding to one another. It keeps us moving. It prevents deadlock.
How many times have I found myself resisting submission? In my relationships with friends, I have had times when I refuse to see their point of view, and eventually, sadly, the friendship is lost. In a battle of wills with my two year old, I find myself in a competition to see who can yell the loudest. Not very productive! And don't get me started on what happens when an immoveable mass marries an unstoppable force.
How is this life sustaining? How can this constant turmoil be good for me, for my family? Our stubborn natures collide, we find ourselves in a stalemate, and nothing is accomplished.
James 3:17-18 says, "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness."
This sounds like the description of my adored kindergarten teacher, Ms. Jana Harkins, or my sweet Nanny, Beth. How did they get there? They learned to MERGE. They learned to pick their battles. We are on our way, we are just not quite there yet. Each day is a new opportunity for us to sow in peace.
Dear God, please help us to be peacemakers in our homes. Help us yield our stubborn natures so that we may have spirit of submission in honor of you. AMEN!
Monday, September 12, 2011
A Father's Love
"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." - Zephaniah 3:17
The image I have in my mind when I read this scripture is that of a big, strong father holding his newborn child. The child is upset, the father is soothing the child patiently and gazing at this tiny, angry bundle with absolute adoration.
Infinite patience, immeasurable love, complete joy.
My patience is never what I want it to be. I was always asking God for help with patience until I read an article in which the mother being interviewed said that when we pray for patience, God gives us situations in which we can practice our patience. Not exactly what I was asking for! I have found myself to be more patient as the years pass, so maybe by the time I'm 70, I will have the patience required to raise a family! But patience is a kind of faith. It is faith that the next moment can be better than this one, and so if we can hold on just one more moment, and then another, then we may experience the patience we have asked for.
Our love for our children can be overwhelming. I remember looking at Kate as a newborn and feeling like my heart had grown too big for my chest. I just loved this little wonder so much, it didn't seem possible that there was room in my heart for anything else. And then Brooke came along and there was even more! I think of my own mother and father, who love me, but still fail me at times. We are told that as much as we love our children, God loves us even more. How comforting to know that even when our parents are incapable of soothing our hurts, God's love will sustain us.
We sing a lot at our house and we always have. My mom made up little songs all the time about whatever we were doing, and I have done the same thing with my girls. Now Kate does it, too. We just love to sing! When we find ourselves singing is usually when we are at our happiest. Reading that God rejoices over me with singing again brings to mind the delighted parent, just pleased as punch with His beautiful children. He watches us with delight as we make our way through life and sings at the moments when we bring Him joy, when we are living our lives to His glory and raising our children to follow Him.
"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." - Ephesians 3:16-19
What makes you sing? How can you be an example of God's love in the life of someone who needs it? What can you do to be more patient with your spouse, your children, or yourself?
The image I have in my mind when I read this scripture is that of a big, strong father holding his newborn child. The child is upset, the father is soothing the child patiently and gazing at this tiny, angry bundle with absolute adoration.
Infinite patience, immeasurable love, complete joy.
My patience is never what I want it to be. I was always asking God for help with patience until I read an article in which the mother being interviewed said that when we pray for patience, God gives us situations in which we can practice our patience. Not exactly what I was asking for! I have found myself to be more patient as the years pass, so maybe by the time I'm 70, I will have the patience required to raise a family! But patience is a kind of faith. It is faith that the next moment can be better than this one, and so if we can hold on just one more moment, and then another, then we may experience the patience we have asked for.
Our love for our children can be overwhelming. I remember looking at Kate as a newborn and feeling like my heart had grown too big for my chest. I just loved this little wonder so much, it didn't seem possible that there was room in my heart for anything else. And then Brooke came along and there was even more! I think of my own mother and father, who love me, but still fail me at times. We are told that as much as we love our children, God loves us even more. How comforting to know that even when our parents are incapable of soothing our hurts, God's love will sustain us.
We sing a lot at our house and we always have. My mom made up little songs all the time about whatever we were doing, and I have done the same thing with my girls. Now Kate does it, too. We just love to sing! When we find ourselves singing is usually when we are at our happiest. Reading that God rejoices over me with singing again brings to mind the delighted parent, just pleased as punch with His beautiful children. He watches us with delight as we make our way through life and sings at the moments when we bring Him joy, when we are living our lives to His glory and raising our children to follow Him.
"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." - Ephesians 3:16-19
What makes you sing? How can you be an example of God's love in the life of someone who needs it? What can you do to be more patient with your spouse, your children, or yourself?
New Day
I'm writing devotionals for my mom's group at church, probably for the next month. It has been my creative outlet and I am learning more about my faith as I write. Here's yesterday's:
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." - Isaiah 43:18-19
Today is an important day in our nation. We remember the events of September 11, 2001 and all of the destruction that has occurred as a result of those terrorist attacks. We should never forget the people who died that day nor the heroism of the victims and the survivors. Their names will be written in history books.
But that's not really what inspired this devotional. The past that I'm dwelling on today was stirred up by a picture of a wedding in Austin this weekend.
A man I have known since we were four years old (which is really weird considering I have a four year old!) got married yesterday, and his wedding was attended by several other people that I have known for most of my life. They took a picture of this group at the reception and posted it on Facebook. Ah, Facebook, the perpetual high school reunion.
Looking at this picture, I suddenly had these thoughts of, "What might have happened if..." If I had dated that one boy, even though my so called friends would have made fun of me. If I had gone to a different college. If I had stayed working with this group of people instead of moving on to a different job that summer, maybe I would have been in that picture.
It can be dangerous to dwell on the past. If this, then that, but where do we end up? If that terrorist had missed that flight, then what? If I had gone to a different college, then what?
This is an age old concept, the idea of the road not taken. The problem with the "road not taken" exercise when you are married with children is that it erases those faces. And who am I if I am not Tommy's wife and Kate and Brooke's mother?
The reality is that the hypothetical "road not taken" doesn't exist. We live at the intersection of Destiny Road and Free Will Avenue. The choices we make along the way dictate the life we live, but God's role shouldn't be ignored. He wants us to look to the future, not to the past, no matter if it is a past filled with happiness and promise or a past filled with sadness and regret.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
So God doesn't want us living this life that He has given us with one foot in the present and one in the past. He wants us living in today and seeking Him! We need to let go of the "what if" and the "I wish" so that we can truly seek God with all our heart and receive the blessings that He has shared with us.
What are you grateful for in your life today? What choices can you make today to have a positive impact on your family's future? What things in the past can you let go of so that you can start seeking God with all of your heart?
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." - Isaiah 43:18-19
Today is an important day in our nation. We remember the events of September 11, 2001 and all of the destruction that has occurred as a result of those terrorist attacks. We should never forget the people who died that day nor the heroism of the victims and the survivors. Their names will be written in history books.
But that's not really what inspired this devotional. The past that I'm dwelling on today was stirred up by a picture of a wedding in Austin this weekend.
A man I have known since we were four years old (which is really weird considering I have a four year old!) got married yesterday, and his wedding was attended by several other people that I have known for most of my life. They took a picture of this group at the reception and posted it on Facebook. Ah, Facebook, the perpetual high school reunion.
Looking at this picture, I suddenly had these thoughts of, "What might have happened if..." If I had dated that one boy, even though my so called friends would have made fun of me. If I had gone to a different college. If I had stayed working with this group of people instead of moving on to a different job that summer, maybe I would have been in that picture.
It can be dangerous to dwell on the past. If this, then that, but where do we end up? If that terrorist had missed that flight, then what? If I had gone to a different college, then what?
This is an age old concept, the idea of the road not taken. The problem with the "road not taken" exercise when you are married with children is that it erases those faces. And who am I if I am not Tommy's wife and Kate and Brooke's mother?
The reality is that the hypothetical "road not taken" doesn't exist. We live at the intersection of Destiny Road and Free Will Avenue. The choices we make along the way dictate the life we live, but God's role shouldn't be ignored. He wants us to look to the future, not to the past, no matter if it is a past filled with happiness and promise or a past filled with sadness and regret.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
So God doesn't want us living this life that He has given us with one foot in the present and one in the past. He wants us living in today and seeking Him! We need to let go of the "what if" and the "I wish" so that we can truly seek God with all our heart and receive the blessings that He has shared with us.
What are you grateful for in your life today? What choices can you make today to have a positive impact on your family's future? What things in the past can you let go of so that you can start seeking God with all of your heart?
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Gratitude
Things I am happy about today:
1. We got some rain yesterday! Almost an inch and a half, we'll take it!
2. I'm not on any thyroid meds and haven't been for over a month. Still feeling better than fine and no more weird heart palpitations, thank you very much.
3. Kate started preschool 4's yesterday, she is going three days a week. Love getting back into the groove.
4. Caught up on laundry.
5. Still (mostly) under budget.
6. Looking forward to Randy and Jody's wedding on Saturday and the boys' birthday Saturday morning. The I-35 crawl, not so much, but we do what we have to do!
7. Very grateful for a supportive and loving husband.
8. Got to snooze with Kate for about 30 minutes during nap time. I woke up and she was pressed against me like she did when she was teeny tiny. Total time warp, I couldn't figure out when she got so big.
9. Brookie fell asleep by herself for naptime today and slept almost three hours. But only after "reading" her favorite books to me. Best part of my job.
XXXOOO,
Lindsay
1. We got some rain yesterday! Almost an inch and a half, we'll take it!
2. I'm not on any thyroid meds and haven't been for over a month. Still feeling better than fine and no more weird heart palpitations, thank you very much.
3. Kate started preschool 4's yesterday, she is going three days a week. Love getting back into the groove.
4. Caught up on laundry.
5. Still (mostly) under budget.
6. Looking forward to Randy and Jody's wedding on Saturday and the boys' birthday Saturday morning. The I-35 crawl, not so much, but we do what we have to do!
7. Very grateful for a supportive and loving husband.
8. Got to snooze with Kate for about 30 minutes during nap time. I woke up and she was pressed against me like she did when she was teeny tiny. Total time warp, I couldn't figure out when she got so big.
9. Brookie fell asleep by herself for naptime today and slept almost three hours. But only after "reading" her favorite books to me. Best part of my job.
XXXOOO,
Lindsay
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
The pros and cons of being a (mostly) gluten free family
I am not an optimist. I typically see the worst in situations and have to be led by the nose to find the silver lining. It took being married to my wonderful, "the world is black and white," no-nonsense engineer who keeps me on the straight and narrow for me to see that about myself. It is not always a good quality to have, unless you just like being negative and cynical, and it is not one that I plan to pass along to my girls.
Which is why I like them to watch movies like Mary Poppins and Annie and want someone to add Pollyanna to our collection. Good birds, those three.
Anywho, I get frustrated with the whole gluten free thing occasionally, and so I wanted to write this out to have for myself and for anyone else struggling with the same thoughts. Because sometimes us perfectionists make it all look really easy. But it's not.
Pros:
1. We have two healthy, happy children, one of whom just happens to have Celiac disease.
2. We all pay more attention to what is going into our bodies than we did before.
3. Eating food is less of a pastime for us.
4. We are more involved in the planning and preparing of food, which has made me a better cook. And most of what we eat is homemade, from scratch, minimally processed, etc. So I feel more connected to what I am feeding my family.
5. I have become better friends with people in the gluten free (and other allergen free) community whom I may not have otherwise.
6. It has made me see my child differently, and appreciate her more as an individual than I did before.
7. I spend more time at home, and less money at restaurants or on fast food.
8. I found out that I do have the gene, which is good to know for later on in life if I develop symptoms.
9. Kate is more invested in what she is eating, she doesn't just blindly put food into her mouth. She asks if everything and every restaurant and every person is also gluten free.
10. Those of us in our family who can still eat gluten are able to appreciate things like a soft hamburger or hotdog bun or a breakfast taco on a flour tortilla. It's the little things.
Cons:
1. I'm constantly scrutinizing Kate's poop and how her tummy feels/sounds.
2. Kate has learned to tell people that things she doesn't want to eat are not gluten free, even if they are (i.e. cantaloupe, watermelon).
3. It can be expensive, especially when you ruin an entire batch of baking by leaving out or adding too much xanthan gum. (Curse you, xanthan gum! Thank you for your existence, but curse you for being expensive and necessary to every baked good I now make!)
4. No more Chick Fil A playdates. This could also be a pro.
5. Church communion: some people intinct their bread, which leaves huge floating chunks of bread in the wine. Not GF. We'll figure that out, minor hiccup.
6. When Kate does get "glutened" or is just not feeling well, I feel like I have failed to protect her. Even though my logical self knows that it happens and I am doing my best, I still beat myself up.
7. No convenience meals, pretty much ever.
8. Visiting out of town family overnight is a HUGE undertaking. Planning ahead, packing food and cooking implements, making sure their not gluten-free houses are safe for Kate. Which, I'm sure, is not fun for them either when I come into their house and tell them what to do.
9.Trying not to hurt people's feelings when I explain the disease and they don't understand that it's not just that she can't eat wheat. And that just because something says gluten free doesn't really mean that it is. Which makes me look like a lunatic. And that having a gluten free menu at a restaurant does not necessarily mean it is safe. Which makes me look like a control freak. Worrying what other people think is exhausting, maybe I should stop?
10. I can't think of one right now, maybe I'm tipped over a little to the optimist side. Is it possible?
Which is why I like them to watch movies like Mary Poppins and Annie and want someone to add Pollyanna to our collection. Good birds, those three.
Anywho, I get frustrated with the whole gluten free thing occasionally, and so I wanted to write this out to have for myself and for anyone else struggling with the same thoughts. Because sometimes us perfectionists make it all look really easy. But it's not.
Pros:
1. We have two healthy, happy children, one of whom just happens to have Celiac disease.
2. We all pay more attention to what is going into our bodies than we did before.
3. Eating food is less of a pastime for us.
4. We are more involved in the planning and preparing of food, which has made me a better cook. And most of what we eat is homemade, from scratch, minimally processed, etc. So I feel more connected to what I am feeding my family.
5. I have become better friends with people in the gluten free (and other allergen free) community whom I may not have otherwise.
6. It has made me see my child differently, and appreciate her more as an individual than I did before.
7. I spend more time at home, and less money at restaurants or on fast food.
8. I found out that I do have the gene, which is good to know for later on in life if I develop symptoms.
9. Kate is more invested in what she is eating, she doesn't just blindly put food into her mouth. She asks if everything and every restaurant and every person is also gluten free.
10. Those of us in our family who can still eat gluten are able to appreciate things like a soft hamburger or hotdog bun or a breakfast taco on a flour tortilla. It's the little things.
Cons:
1. I'm constantly scrutinizing Kate's poop and how her tummy feels/sounds.
2. Kate has learned to tell people that things she doesn't want to eat are not gluten free, even if they are (i.e. cantaloupe, watermelon).
3. It can be expensive, especially when you ruin an entire batch of baking by leaving out or adding too much xanthan gum. (Curse you, xanthan gum! Thank you for your existence, but curse you for being expensive and necessary to every baked good I now make!)
4. No more Chick Fil A playdates. This could also be a pro.
5. Church communion: some people intinct their bread, which leaves huge floating chunks of bread in the wine. Not GF. We'll figure that out, minor hiccup.
6. When Kate does get "glutened" or is just not feeling well, I feel like I have failed to protect her. Even though my logical self knows that it happens and I am doing my best, I still beat myself up.
7. No convenience meals, pretty much ever.
8. Visiting out of town family overnight is a HUGE undertaking. Planning ahead, packing food and cooking implements, making sure their not gluten-free houses are safe for Kate. Which, I'm sure, is not fun for them either when I come into their house and tell them what to do.
9.Trying not to hurt people's feelings when I explain the disease and they don't understand that it's not just that she can't eat wheat. And that just because something says gluten free doesn't really mean that it is. Which makes me look like a lunatic. And that having a gluten free menu at a restaurant does not necessarily mean it is safe. Which makes me look like a control freak. Worrying what other people think is exhausting, maybe I should stop?
10. I can't think of one right now, maybe I'm tipped over a little to the optimist side. Is it possible?
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Quick refresher on baking
Rule number 1 of gluten free baking: Bring all ingredients to room temperature first.
Rule number 2 of gluten free baking: Make sure all implements and ingredients are, in fact, gluten free.
And rule number 3, get off the phone while you are making something somewhat complicated for the first time so that you don't end up leaving out the blessed xanthan gum and have really tasty (and expensive) breadcrumbs.
ARGH!
Rule number 2 of gluten free baking: Make sure all implements and ingredients are, in fact, gluten free.
And rule number 3, get off the phone while you are making something somewhat complicated for the first time so that you don't end up leaving out the blessed xanthan gum and have really tasty (and expensive) breadcrumbs.
ARGH!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Random updates...and a little pee
Brooke just went pee in the potty!!! I don't know who was more surprised, her or me. We had a little party in the bathroom for her, Kate was so cute, she was very encouraging and said, "Good job, Sister!"
We moved her into her new twin bed yesterday after a successful week in the toddler bed, and so far she has transitioned pretty smoothly. The first two days were a little bumpy, but then she figured out how to play for a little while and then lay down in her bed. I'm a little shocked at how little she protested or tried to escape, she tends to be a stubborn little miss.
I'm working on sewing a bedspread for Miss Brooke, it is chenille and so it is super linty, there is lavender fluff all over my house right now. Maybe someone can teach me how to upload pictures to this blog so that everyone can see it when it is complete...
In other news, I just found out that there is a GF B&B in San Antonio, as well as a GF cafe/bakery, so maybe the next time we head that way we will give it a try. And the links from the Chicken Paradise website would definitely help anyone who is GF traveling to San Antonio or the surrounding areas.
http://www.thelittleaussiebakery.com/
http://www.chickenparadise.com/
Thanks to my friend, Julie, for the info. She is such an inspiration to me for many reasons, but the knowledge that she has shared about all things gluten has been life changing for me. I cannot begin to express how truly amazing this lady is, I want to be just like her when I grow up!
So, all of a sudden, a bunch of the women in my life have taken the plunge, either voluntarily or otherwise, into the world of stay-at-home momming. Epidemic level. And none of my SAHM friends are entering the work force, but I have a feeling that will be happening sooner than later.
I have been thinking about tips for these moms on how not to burn out, and how to enjoy your time at home, but the truth is, I am burned out and I don't always enjoy my kids. There are days when I am so fed up with not listening and picking up their stuff and changing peed on sheets and preparing meals that by the time T gets home I am downright surly. So who am I to advise? Donna Reed, I am not, I'm more of Mommy Dearest on those days.
Mommy: "Kate, Brooke, go upstairs, it's naptime."
*crickets chirping*
Mommy: "Kate, Brooke, it's time to go upstairs now."
Kate: "Let's play Polly Pockets, Brooke."
Mommy: "GO UPSTAIRS, NOOOOOWWWWW!"
Wailing, running, stomping ensue.
Deep breaths. Or more screaming, it's a crapshoot.
But on the days when I love my job and my life, I think I am a great mom. I am present, I am interested in what they are doing and think of ways to make activities fun.
So I guess the big thing about being a stay-at-home mom is that you don't have job evaluations to track your progress. You can do great for a week and have a really bad couple of days and no one is going to fire you. You can work really hard and maybe no one notices. Or you can phone it in and watch Cinderella twice in one day and they say, "This was the best day ever!"
So cut yourself a break. Take it a day at a time. Look at their sweet faces. Think about saying yes instead of no. Give hugs in place of time out or spanking. Think before you speak.
And I say all of these things because I have done the opposite and felt terrible. I have learned the hard way that losing my temper just scares my children and makes them sad, and makes me sad as well. It doesn't teach anyone or solve anything.
So now they are both up from nap and it is a new day! Kate has just reminded me that she is waiting patiently for her drink. What are some of your learned-the-hard-way parenting tips?
We moved her into her new twin bed yesterday after a successful week in the toddler bed, and so far she has transitioned pretty smoothly. The first two days were a little bumpy, but then she figured out how to play for a little while and then lay down in her bed. I'm a little shocked at how little she protested or tried to escape, she tends to be a stubborn little miss.
I'm working on sewing a bedspread for Miss Brooke, it is chenille and so it is super linty, there is lavender fluff all over my house right now. Maybe someone can teach me how to upload pictures to this blog so that everyone can see it when it is complete...
In other news, I just found out that there is a GF B&B in San Antonio, as well as a GF cafe/bakery, so maybe the next time we head that way we will give it a try. And the links from the Chicken Paradise website would definitely help anyone who is GF traveling to San Antonio or the surrounding areas.
http://www.thelittleaussiebakery.com/
http://www.chickenparadise.com/
Thanks to my friend, Julie, for the info. She is such an inspiration to me for many reasons, but the knowledge that she has shared about all things gluten has been life changing for me. I cannot begin to express how truly amazing this lady is, I want to be just like her when I grow up!
So, all of a sudden, a bunch of the women in my life have taken the plunge, either voluntarily or otherwise, into the world of stay-at-home momming. Epidemic level. And none of my SAHM friends are entering the work force, but I have a feeling that will be happening sooner than later.
I have been thinking about tips for these moms on how not to burn out, and how to enjoy your time at home, but the truth is, I am burned out and I don't always enjoy my kids. There are days when I am so fed up with not listening and picking up their stuff and changing peed on sheets and preparing meals that by the time T gets home I am downright surly. So who am I to advise? Donna Reed, I am not, I'm more of Mommy Dearest on those days.
Mommy: "Kate, Brooke, go upstairs, it's naptime."
*crickets chirping*
Mommy: "Kate, Brooke, it's time to go upstairs now."
Kate: "Let's play Polly Pockets, Brooke."
Mommy: "GO UPSTAIRS, NOOOOOWWWWW!"
Wailing, running, stomping ensue.
Deep breaths. Or more screaming, it's a crapshoot.
But on the days when I love my job and my life, I think I am a great mom. I am present, I am interested in what they are doing and think of ways to make activities fun.
So I guess the big thing about being a stay-at-home mom is that you don't have job evaluations to track your progress. You can do great for a week and have a really bad couple of days and no one is going to fire you. You can work really hard and maybe no one notices. Or you can phone it in and watch Cinderella twice in one day and they say, "This was the best day ever!"
So cut yourself a break. Take it a day at a time. Look at their sweet faces. Think about saying yes instead of no. Give hugs in place of time out or spanking. Think before you speak.
And I say all of these things because I have done the opposite and felt terrible. I have learned the hard way that losing my temper just scares my children and makes them sad, and makes me sad as well. It doesn't teach anyone or solve anything.
So now they are both up from nap and it is a new day! Kate has just reminded me that she is waiting patiently for her drink. What are some of your learned-the-hard-way parenting tips?
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Chocolate Banana Teff Muffins
I am not a fan of chocolate in the morning. It was baffling to me the first time I tried a chocolate chip muffin, why on earth would I DETEST the concept of dessert for breakfast? I love chocolate any other time of day, I would (and have) eaten Oreos and M&Ms all day long if I could, but there's something about the overly sweet richness in the morning that just turns my stomach.
So when I chose to make these teff muffins this morning, I almost omitted the cocoa powder, thinking I would save myself the heartache of a ruined baking attempt and maybe I just knew what everyone else was missing, that chocolate + muffins = gross.
I was so wrong.
Against my better judgment, I included the cocoa powder. It made the muffins a notch above delicious. It added depth, and a dark tone that balanced out the light sweetness of the banana, like a hint of dark chocolate. You could probably add another tablespoon or two if you want a stronger chocolate flavor.
Teff is an amazing little grain, full of protein, iron and fiber and low in fat. I initially wanted to try it for the fiber and iron, since Brooke has low iron and we can all use more fiber in our diets. I was hesitant though because I had no idea what to expect when it came to taste. The recipe on the package looked harmless, but it used olive oil for the fat, which suggests a savory muffin, i.e. my children won't touch it. I found this recipe and modified it slightly:
http://glutenfreeinslc.blogspot.com/2010/03/banana-teff-muffins.html
The original recipe is from Gluten Free Girl, who is like the Barefoot Contessa of the gluten free cooking scene, meaning her stuff is fresh, seasonal, beautiful food that is a bit more high-brow than my kids are willing to try.
http://glutenfreegirl.com/and-finally-theres-teff/
http://www.teffco.com/index.html
The consistency of these muffins is about like a light bran muffin, but the banana makes it moist, so much so that you won't need to add butter or jam. The recipe makes 18 muffins, so I will have plenty to freeze and reheat for a quick nutritious breakfast or snack. They are surprisingly filling, as well. I ate two with a cuppa tea and am satisfied.
As I write, Kate has eaten one and a half of these! And 3/4 of an early summer peach. And a yogurt. She's like a termite.
Chocolate Banana Teff Muffins
Wet Ingredients
2 large or 3 small ripe bananas, mashed with a fork
1/2 c butter, room temperature
1/2 c sugar
1/2 c brown sugar, packed
2 eggs, room temperature
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup light sour cream, room temperature (could use yogurt instead, just not fat free)
Dry Ingredients
1 c teff flour (I used Bob's Red Mill)
1/2 c sweet rice flour
1/2 c sorghum flour
1/2 c tapioca flour
1/2 c almond meal
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp xanthan gum
3 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder (I used Hershey's)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Prepare two muffin pans with liners or cooking spray. (I did not need to flour the tins, Crisco cooking spray did the trick!)
In a large bowl, combine all dry ingredients and whisk together. Set aside.
In a small bowl, mash the bananas, set aside.
In another large bowl, cream together butter and sugars. When they are just creamed, stop mixing. I used a stand mixer, but this recipe doesn't really demand it.
Add the eggs, vanilla and sour cream and mix, scraping down the sides as needed.
Mix in the mashed bananas on low. When combined, scrape sides and beaters as needed.
Get out your big girl muscles and a rubber spatula. Gradually fold in flour mixture, about 1/4 of a cup at a time, until just combined. At first this will be very easy, but by the last few additions, you will have to put in some effort.
Spoon into prepared muffin tins, about 2/3 full or so. I don't make all of mine uniform because a)I don't work in food service where uniformity is crucial, and b) I like to give Kate and Brooke the smaller muffins and T the bigger ones, I'm weird like that.
Once the batter is spooned into the tins, I tap the bottom of the pans on the counter to get out any large bubbles of trapped air. I don't know if it matters on this recipe, but it's a habit.
Place in the middle of your preheated oven and bake for about 18-20 minutes or until firm and a toothpick comes out clean, it might be a little damp from the moisture of the banana.
Remove from the oven and let cool for about 5 minutes. Enjoy a filling and delicious breakfast!
So when I chose to make these teff muffins this morning, I almost omitted the cocoa powder, thinking I would save myself the heartache of a ruined baking attempt and maybe I just knew what everyone else was missing, that chocolate + muffins = gross.
I was so wrong.
Against my better judgment, I included the cocoa powder. It made the muffins a notch above delicious. It added depth, and a dark tone that balanced out the light sweetness of the banana, like a hint of dark chocolate. You could probably add another tablespoon or two if you want a stronger chocolate flavor.
Teff is an amazing little grain, full of protein, iron and fiber and low in fat. I initially wanted to try it for the fiber and iron, since Brooke has low iron and we can all use more fiber in our diets. I was hesitant though because I had no idea what to expect when it came to taste. The recipe on the package looked harmless, but it used olive oil for the fat, which suggests a savory muffin, i.e. my children won't touch it. I found this recipe and modified it slightly:
http://glutenfreeinslc.blogspot.com/2010/03/banana-teff-muffins.html
The original recipe is from Gluten Free Girl, who is like the Barefoot Contessa of the gluten free cooking scene, meaning her stuff is fresh, seasonal, beautiful food that is a bit more high-brow than my kids are willing to try.
http://glutenfreegirl.com/and-finally-theres-teff/
http://www.teffco.com/index.html
The consistency of these muffins is about like a light bran muffin, but the banana makes it moist, so much so that you won't need to add butter or jam. The recipe makes 18 muffins, so I will have plenty to freeze and reheat for a quick nutritious breakfast or snack. They are surprisingly filling, as well. I ate two with a cuppa tea and am satisfied.
As I write, Kate has eaten one and a half of these! And 3/4 of an early summer peach. And a yogurt. She's like a termite.
Chocolate Banana Teff Muffins
Wet Ingredients
2 large or 3 small ripe bananas, mashed with a fork
1/2 c butter, room temperature
1/2 c sugar
1/2 c brown sugar, packed
2 eggs, room temperature
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup light sour cream, room temperature (could use yogurt instead, just not fat free)
Dry Ingredients
1 c teff flour (I used Bob's Red Mill)
1/2 c sweet rice flour
1/2 c sorghum flour
1/2 c tapioca flour
1/2 c almond meal
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp xanthan gum
3 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder (I used Hershey's)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Prepare two muffin pans with liners or cooking spray. (I did not need to flour the tins, Crisco cooking spray did the trick!)
In a large bowl, combine all dry ingredients and whisk together. Set aside.
In a small bowl, mash the bananas, set aside.
In another large bowl, cream together butter and sugars. When they are just creamed, stop mixing. I used a stand mixer, but this recipe doesn't really demand it.
Add the eggs, vanilla and sour cream and mix, scraping down the sides as needed.
Mix in the mashed bananas on low. When combined, scrape sides and beaters as needed.
Get out your big girl muscles and a rubber spatula. Gradually fold in flour mixture, about 1/4 of a cup at a time, until just combined. At first this will be very easy, but by the last few additions, you will have to put in some effort.
Spoon into prepared muffin tins, about 2/3 full or so. I don't make all of mine uniform because a)I don't work in food service where uniformity is crucial, and b) I like to give Kate and Brooke the smaller muffins and T the bigger ones, I'm weird like that.
Once the batter is spooned into the tins, I tap the bottom of the pans on the counter to get out any large bubbles of trapped air. I don't know if it matters on this recipe, but it's a habit.
Place in the middle of your preheated oven and bake for about 18-20 minutes or until firm and a toothpick comes out clean, it might be a little damp from the moisture of the banana.
Remove from the oven and let cool for about 5 minutes. Enjoy a filling and delicious breakfast!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Snack Attack
So the hardest thing about sending your darling child off to preschool/school is not that they don't miss you, or that they come home with new, unsavory words. It's that they are completely off the grid, going rogue, beyond arm's length away from you and your protective Mama Bear swipe. And for those of us who struggle with being in control of everything, we find this very difficult, indeed.
So there's that. Then there is the fact that they have "naptime" and if you are like me and prided yourself on sleep training starting at six weeks or whatever, prepare to have a cranky child who CANNOT sleep on a 1 inch plastic mat on the ground without room darkening shades, white noise machine or ceiling fan blasting on turbo. IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN. So at 2 pm, be prepared to pick up this exhausted child, then either drive at breakneck speed home and throw them in bed for a nap that lasts until dinnertime, at which point they will wake up crabby and NOT want to go back to sleep until 1o pm, or just suck it up and keep them up until 7 pm, or as I like to call it, "let's see how many times I can beat my head against the wall."
Then we have snack time. Oh, yes, the whole reason we exist. It is all about the snack. Unless you are my child, then snack time looks like this...
Teacher: "Children, our letter of the day is L and so we are having Lucky Charms!" "Children, our letter for the day is G and so we are having Goldfish!" "Children, our letter of the day is R and so we are having Rice Krispy Squares!" (do you see a pattern here?)
So then teacher hands Kate her GF animal crackers while everyone else gets (fill in the blank, letter appropriate snack.)
NO MORE!
This summer, Kate is attending summer camp at her school, which is basically VBS all summer, which sounds awesome to me. I loved VBS, I think she'll have a blast.
So they made an announcement at the open house last night that they were changing their policy on snacks and would no longer be providing a snack, but instead the parents would need to send one for their child everyday. All the other moms are groaning, "Great, another thing to worry about in the morning." And then there's me, pumping my fist in the air (internally) and feeling extremely relieved.
Kate won't be odd girl out! Hooray! It's the little things, ya know?
So there's that. Then there is the fact that they have "naptime" and if you are like me and prided yourself on sleep training starting at six weeks or whatever, prepare to have a cranky child who CANNOT sleep on a 1 inch plastic mat on the ground without room darkening shades, white noise machine or ceiling fan blasting on turbo. IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN. So at 2 pm, be prepared to pick up this exhausted child, then either drive at breakneck speed home and throw them in bed for a nap that lasts until dinnertime, at which point they will wake up crabby and NOT want to go back to sleep until 1o pm, or just suck it up and keep them up until 7 pm, or as I like to call it, "let's see how many times I can beat my head against the wall."
Then we have snack time. Oh, yes, the whole reason we exist. It is all about the snack. Unless you are my child, then snack time looks like this...
Teacher: "Children, our letter of the day is L and so we are having Lucky Charms!" "Children, our letter for the day is G and so we are having Goldfish!" "Children, our letter of the day is R and so we are having Rice Krispy Squares!" (do you see a pattern here?)
So then teacher hands Kate her GF animal crackers while everyone else gets (fill in the blank, letter appropriate snack.)
NO MORE!
This summer, Kate is attending summer camp at her school, which is basically VBS all summer, which sounds awesome to me. I loved VBS, I think she'll have a blast.
So they made an announcement at the open house last night that they were changing their policy on snacks and would no longer be providing a snack, but instead the parents would need to send one for their child everyday. All the other moms are groaning, "Great, another thing to worry about in the morning." And then there's me, pumping my fist in the air (internally) and feeling extremely relieved.
Kate won't be odd girl out! Hooray! It's the little things, ya know?
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Now that I am calmer...
Thanks for all the kind thoughts and words from my post the other day. Kate's teachers are really sweet and supportive, I could not have asked for two more nurturing and kindhearted ladies to introduce Kate to a school setting. I hope she is as blessed next year! The funny thing about me is that I like things my way, so I don't always have an easy time accepting when things don't go so smoothly. But they do have her best interests at heart and have tried to work with us with all the ups and downs of this year.
But when your child is the one with an issue, you cannot assume that everyone is going to react as you are. It is not as important to them as it is to you, because it is your whole life, and maybe just 10% of theirs! These women have raised their own children and taught dozens of other people's kids for years, and maybe they never had an issue like this, but maybe they did. And maybe the way they handled it was by telling their beloved child that they were special and it made that child accept their difference and feel wonderful! But I know my child and I know myself and we always want more of an explanation than "...because, that's why." So Kate and I will continue to battle this, hopefully gently and gracefully, and hope that we encounter more lovely ladies and gentlemen along the way.
Here are the cookies that I made for Kate's end of the year party today. They went into the oven at 8:45 this morning, and again at 11:00 for Brookie and me! This recipe actually originated on the Land O'Lakes website. I modified it a little, adding the xanthan gum to an existing, pretty much identical flour blend instead of making another batch. I also didn't roll them out, I made them refrigerator or slice and bake cookies.
http://www.landolakes.com/recipe/1527/star-cut-out-cookies-gluten-free-recipe
GF Slice and Bake Sugar Cookies
1 c. granulated sugar
1 c. butter, room temp.
2 egg yolks, more or less room temp.
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
2 1/4 c. gf flour blend*
1 tsp xanthan gum
1/4 tsp salt
*GF Flour Blends can vary, which means your results can vary. If you have an all purpose baking blend that you swear by, use it! Just check that there is xanthan gum somewhere in the process and experiment away. The one that I used for this and the cinnamon rolls is a pretty basic and commonly used blend that uses 4 c. brown rice flour, 1 1/3 c potato starch (not flour), and 2/3 c tapioca starch. Put these amounts into a gallon ziploc bag, seal it and give it a good shake. Keep it in the fridge for your next batch.
Add butter and sugar to a large bowl, beat or cream together until, um, creamy. Scrape down the sides at least once. Add egg yolks and vanilla, beat well again, scraping down the sides as needed. Turn the mixer to low, add the flour blend, xanthan gum (if it is not already in your blend!) and salt. Once incorporated, beat well until it looks like cookie dough.
Now, I made these slice and bake because I am not big into the effort of roll cookies except for at Christmas, but if you want to roll them out and use cookie cutters, just cover the bowl and refrigerate for at least an hour or until firm. Then roll out between two sheets of wax or parchment paper to about 1/4 inch thick and cut into whatever shapes you like. Use a little of your flour blend to prevent sticking to the paper/cutters.
If you are a lazy mommy like me, take half of the dough and put it in the center of a 10 or so inch square of plastic wrap (I use Press and Seal), fold it over and squish it into a log, sealing the ends and rolling it into a little tube. Repeat for the other half of the dough. Put one in the fridge and the other in the freezer for the next time you need a sugar cookie on the spot. It will probably keep in the freezer for a couple of months.
But for today, refrigerate the one dough log for at least an hour. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a cookie sheet with a piece of parchment paper. When your oven is preheated, take the dough out of the fridge, unwrap it and slice it into about 1/4 inch thick slices. Lay out about an inch or so apart. Bake for 8-10 minutes or until the edges are golden. Let cool until you can't stand it anymore! Each log makes about 18 2 1/2 inch cookies.
They are very buttery and rich, and best when fresh. An excellent cookie with a glass of vanilla almond milk!
But when your child is the one with an issue, you cannot assume that everyone is going to react as you are. It is not as important to them as it is to you, because it is your whole life, and maybe just 10% of theirs! These women have raised their own children and taught dozens of other people's kids for years, and maybe they never had an issue like this, but maybe they did. And maybe the way they handled it was by telling their beloved child that they were special and it made that child accept their difference and feel wonderful! But I know my child and I know myself and we always want more of an explanation than "...because, that's why." So Kate and I will continue to battle this, hopefully gently and gracefully, and hope that we encounter more lovely ladies and gentlemen along the way.
Here are the cookies that I made for Kate's end of the year party today. They went into the oven at 8:45 this morning, and again at 11:00 for Brookie and me! This recipe actually originated on the Land O'Lakes website. I modified it a little, adding the xanthan gum to an existing, pretty much identical flour blend instead of making another batch. I also didn't roll them out, I made them refrigerator or slice and bake cookies.
http://www.landolakes.com/recipe/1527/star-cut-out-cookies-gluten-free-recipe
GF Slice and Bake Sugar Cookies
1 c. granulated sugar
1 c. butter, room temp.
2 egg yolks, more or less room temp.
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
2 1/4 c. gf flour blend*
1 tsp xanthan gum
1/4 tsp salt
*GF Flour Blends can vary, which means your results can vary. If you have an all purpose baking blend that you swear by, use it! Just check that there is xanthan gum somewhere in the process and experiment away. The one that I used for this and the cinnamon rolls is a pretty basic and commonly used blend that uses 4 c. brown rice flour, 1 1/3 c potato starch (not flour), and 2/3 c tapioca starch. Put these amounts into a gallon ziploc bag, seal it and give it a good shake. Keep it in the fridge for your next batch.
Add butter and sugar to a large bowl, beat or cream together until, um, creamy. Scrape down the sides at least once. Add egg yolks and vanilla, beat well again, scraping down the sides as needed. Turn the mixer to low, add the flour blend, xanthan gum (if it is not already in your blend!) and salt. Once incorporated, beat well until it looks like cookie dough.
Now, I made these slice and bake because I am not big into the effort of roll cookies except for at Christmas, but if you want to roll them out and use cookie cutters, just cover the bowl and refrigerate for at least an hour or until firm. Then roll out between two sheets of wax or parchment paper to about 1/4 inch thick and cut into whatever shapes you like. Use a little of your flour blend to prevent sticking to the paper/cutters.
If you are a lazy mommy like me, take half of the dough and put it in the center of a 10 or so inch square of plastic wrap (I use Press and Seal), fold it over and squish it into a log, sealing the ends and rolling it into a little tube. Repeat for the other half of the dough. Put one in the fridge and the other in the freezer for the next time you need a sugar cookie on the spot. It will probably keep in the freezer for a couple of months.
But for today, refrigerate the one dough log for at least an hour. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a cookie sheet with a piece of parchment paper. When your oven is preheated, take the dough out of the fridge, unwrap it and slice it into about 1/4 inch thick slices. Lay out about an inch or so apart. Bake for 8-10 minutes or until the edges are golden. Let cool until you can't stand it anymore! Each log makes about 18 2 1/2 inch cookies.
They are very buttery and rich, and best when fresh. An excellent cookie with a glass of vanilla almond milk!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Adventures in the Frozen Section
I have a mini rant brewing, that if given the chance would become a full blown tantrum. So I'm going to get it off my chest in hopes that it will subside.
I. Am. Frustrated.
I specifically asked my child's preschool teacher at the time of Kate's diagnosis to please let me know ahead of time if there were any special treats planned so that I could accommodate her. I didn't ask for special treatment, just a heads up.
I am usually the last mom to pick up in the afternoon, so I usually get a minute to visit with the teachers, giving them plenty of opportunity to notify me of upcoming events. They send home backpacks everyday, so they could send a note. And they have my home and cell numbers if they want to call.
There has been ONE time that they have given me advanced notice, meaning not the morning of, but the day before, that a special snack is needed. Otherwise, I walk in at 9:13 and am told that they will be having a (insert snack here) at 9:45.
I. Am. Frustrated.
There are several grocery stores within 10 minutes of the school, and I have run out and back in time once, only because they had a fire drill and that bought me a few extra minutes, but still. I try to be prepared, and when I don't have notice, I am not prepared. And who suffers? MY THREE YEAR OLD WHO CAN'T DO A HELL OF A LOT ABOUT IT!!!!
Urrrrggh.
So this morning, I am told that the snack for Thursday will be an Eskimo Pie and a sugar cookie. Which is a lot of sugar for a gaggle of three and four year olds, but that is beside the point. Sort of. But as it turns out, the Eskimo Pie was supposed to be a "science experiment" for today, but they decided not to do it because they didn't give notice to the parents with children with dietary restrictions. And the sugar cookie is a "reward" to be given after their little "graduation" program. Which reinforces food as reward for a job done. Right?
I digress. So I drive to the HEB and find these super yummy dairy and gluten free Eskimo Pie-ish treats made with coconut milk and agave sugar. And I have plenty of recipes for sugar cookies, no big whoop.
I go pick up Kate and tell her teachers that "Yay, Kate will be included in the snack on Thursday, I found her some GF Eskimo Pie thingie!" To which they respond, "Oh, well they actually decided to do ice cream sandwiches instead."
Wha wahhhh.
Totally different story. Now I am not appreciative of the heads up, I am irked.
And they're like, oh, she can just have the one you bought and the other kids will have ice cream sandwiches! Which kinda defeats the purpose of the heads up! I know it's similar but it's not the same and I don't want Kate to always always always feel different!
So they tell me to tell her she's special or that her food is special and that's why she gets something else. Which is not really what I think we should be telling her. I know she's special, but not because of her Celiac. And is her baby sister not special because she's not Celiac?
She has a different diet because she has Celiac disease.
She's special because she is smart and strong and sassy and sweet all at the same time. She's special because she is a strong swimmer and has an elephant's memory and is super tall and my beautiful, tender hearted child. She's special because she loves loves loves her sister and Jesus and taught herself how to take pictures with my iPhone just this very morning.
And I believe that it is a big deal and it is not a big deal at the same time, and we are still muddling through it, and I appreciate all the support we can get. It's not bad to be different, but it can be really hard. And I can just hear her in about 10 years saying, "Mo-om! Stop telling me it's because I'm special! I just want an OREO!"
So that is my little rant/tantrum.
In other news, I made amazing GF cinnamon rolls for my family last weekend, I am going to try to make them again and freeze half of the batch. I found the recipe on The Baking Beauties blog. She has some really delicious stuff cooking up over there.
http://www.thebakingbeauties.com/2011/01/best-gluten-free-cinnamon-buns-or-rolls.html
I used my brother-in-crime Matt's recipe for the frosting:
4 oz cream cheese
1/4 c butter
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/2 Tbsp milk
1 1/2 c powdered sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
Beat the cream cheese and butter together until creamy and smooth, then beat in the milk and vanilla, beat until smooth, add the powdered sugar and cinnamon, beat until smooth. If it is too stiff, add more milk about a teaspoon at a time. If it is too thin, add more powdered sugar a tablespoon at a time until the desired consistency. Refrigerate until ready to use.
You will not regret making these. Honestly, they were way better than the canned rolls and were as good if not better than the ones Matt makes with wheat flour. They took me about an hour of work, not counting time to rise, but they were incredible! I made them on Saturday night and put them in the fridge for breakfast on Sunday, and it made an entire 9x13 pan full of cinnamon glory, with leftovers for Monday, as well. And you only use half of a box of pudding mix, so you can fold that puppy up and put it in the fridge for next time.
Thanks for listening to my little rant, friends. To sum it up, I stopped at Kroger on the way home and spent $7.50 on four GF ice cream sandwiches. So as much as I feel like they had better be amazingly good at almost $2 a piece, if Kate is happy and included, they are worth every penny to me.
I. Am. Frustrated.
I specifically asked my child's preschool teacher at the time of Kate's diagnosis to please let me know ahead of time if there were any special treats planned so that I could accommodate her. I didn't ask for special treatment, just a heads up.
I am usually the last mom to pick up in the afternoon, so I usually get a minute to visit with the teachers, giving them plenty of opportunity to notify me of upcoming events. They send home backpacks everyday, so they could send a note. And they have my home and cell numbers if they want to call.
There has been ONE time that they have given me advanced notice, meaning not the morning of, but the day before, that a special snack is needed. Otherwise, I walk in at 9:13 and am told that they will be having a (insert snack here) at 9:45.
I. Am. Frustrated.
There are several grocery stores within 10 minutes of the school, and I have run out and back in time once, only because they had a fire drill and that bought me a few extra minutes, but still. I try to be prepared, and when I don't have notice, I am not prepared. And who suffers? MY THREE YEAR OLD WHO CAN'T DO A HELL OF A LOT ABOUT IT!!!!
Urrrrggh.
So this morning, I am told that the snack for Thursday will be an Eskimo Pie and a sugar cookie. Which is a lot of sugar for a gaggle of three and four year olds, but that is beside the point. Sort of. But as it turns out, the Eskimo Pie was supposed to be a "science experiment" for today, but they decided not to do it because they didn't give notice to the parents with children with dietary restrictions. And the sugar cookie is a "reward" to be given after their little "graduation" program. Which reinforces food as reward for a job done. Right?
I digress. So I drive to the HEB and find these super yummy dairy and gluten free Eskimo Pie-ish treats made with coconut milk and agave sugar. And I have plenty of recipes for sugar cookies, no big whoop.
I go pick up Kate and tell her teachers that "Yay, Kate will be included in the snack on Thursday, I found her some GF Eskimo Pie thingie!" To which they respond, "Oh, well they actually decided to do ice cream sandwiches instead."
Wha wahhhh.
Totally different story. Now I am not appreciative of the heads up, I am irked.
And they're like, oh, she can just have the one you bought and the other kids will have ice cream sandwiches! Which kinda defeats the purpose of the heads up! I know it's similar but it's not the same and I don't want Kate to always always always feel different!
So they tell me to tell her she's special or that her food is special and that's why she gets something else. Which is not really what I think we should be telling her. I know she's special, but not because of her Celiac. And is her baby sister not special because she's not Celiac?
She has a different diet because she has Celiac disease.
She's special because she is smart and strong and sassy and sweet all at the same time. She's special because she is a strong swimmer and has an elephant's memory and is super tall and my beautiful, tender hearted child. She's special because she loves loves loves her sister and Jesus and taught herself how to take pictures with my iPhone just this very morning.
And I believe that it is a big deal and it is not a big deal at the same time, and we are still muddling through it, and I appreciate all the support we can get. It's not bad to be different, but it can be really hard. And I can just hear her in about 10 years saying, "Mo-om! Stop telling me it's because I'm special! I just want an OREO!"
So that is my little rant/tantrum.
In other news, I made amazing GF cinnamon rolls for my family last weekend, I am going to try to make them again and freeze half of the batch. I found the recipe on The Baking Beauties blog. She has some really delicious stuff cooking up over there.
http://www.thebakingbeauties.com/2011/01/best-gluten-free-cinnamon-buns-or-rolls.html
I used my brother-in-crime Matt's recipe for the frosting:
4 oz cream cheese
1/4 c butter
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/2 Tbsp milk
1 1/2 c powdered sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
Beat the cream cheese and butter together until creamy and smooth, then beat in the milk and vanilla, beat until smooth, add the powdered sugar and cinnamon, beat until smooth. If it is too stiff, add more milk about a teaspoon at a time. If it is too thin, add more powdered sugar a tablespoon at a time until the desired consistency. Refrigerate until ready to use.
You will not regret making these. Honestly, they were way better than the canned rolls and were as good if not better than the ones Matt makes with wheat flour. They took me about an hour of work, not counting time to rise, but they were incredible! I made them on Saturday night and put them in the fridge for breakfast on Sunday, and it made an entire 9x13 pan full of cinnamon glory, with leftovers for Monday, as well. And you only use half of a box of pudding mix, so you can fold that puppy up and put it in the fridge for next time.
Thanks for listening to my little rant, friends. To sum it up, I stopped at Kroger on the way home and spent $7.50 on four GF ice cream sandwiches. So as much as I feel like they had better be amazingly good at almost $2 a piece, if Kate is happy and included, they are worth every penny to me.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Easter Weekend and the Attack of the Horrible GF Bread
Tonight for dinner, I rotisseried (is that even a word?) a chicken in my rotisserie oven from Heather and Matt, and made a delicious asparagus-spinach risotto. It was divine, but I dirtied half the dishes in my kitchen and all of the available countertops, so I am putting off cleaning my kitchen, hence the new blog post.
We had all of my in-laws in town for Easter, which included T's parents, his only sister, her husband and their three boys. We had a great, mostly stress free weekend, and just truly enjoyed each others' company.
I was coming down off the high of a couple of successful GF baking attempts, and with a traditional ham dinner for Easter Sunday on the docket, I decided to make GF "dinner rolls."
Quotation marks are because they looked like biscuits and tasted like something I would feed the dogs. Oh, wow, they were horrible.
They didn't taste like anything I had ever had before. I can't even truly describe how bad they were, my sister in law said they tasted like a tennis shoe.
My brother in law walked into the kitchen to snag one as they were cooling and was trying really hard not to show his disgust, the nice man that he is. But even though we warned him, T put on his game face and ate one on Sunday because he is my wonderful husband. 95% of the meals I put in front of him are delicious, so he remained loyal even during this experimental GF stage.
I didn't take any of this personally because even though I was honestly slaving in the kitchen over them, I thought they were pretty bad, too.
I also made GF "cinnamon rolls," which I am putting in quotation marks because they had more of a cinnamon roll inspired brioche-thing going on. Jill and I made these on Saturday night for Easter morning, because cinnamon rolls used to be our Sunday morning staple prior to Kate's CD diagnosis. Kate, one nephew and the adults all liked it, Brookie and the two older boys did not. 2 out of 3 ain't bad! I will probably try a different recipe next time though, because for the amount of work I put in, they weren't amazing.
The oatmeal cookies were a hit and amazingly there were a few left on Sunday, so T got to have one after his Lenten fast from sweets was broken. Such dedication to his personal sacrifice! I tempted him a lot with desserts over the last 40 plus days, just call me Eve.
I also made Brazilian Cheese Rolls, or pao de queijo, which are traditionally made with tapioca flour and are gluten free. The texture reminds me of the sausage balls you make with Bisquick, cheese and Jimmy Dean sausage, crunchy on the outside, and soft and springy on the inside. The recipe is one that you can play around with, using different herbs and cheeses and they are really easy to make. I will definitely be making those again. The first time I made them, I shaped them to be about the size of my palm, this time they were much smaller, about the size of a plum. I think somewhere in between will be perfect.
On Saturday, we took family pictures with Jill and her family, me, T and the girls, and my in-laws. We hired the photographer who took our Christmas pictures, my friend and hairstylist Amy came over and did our hair and makeup, (ooh la la!) and we all did the white shirts and blue jeans thing. I was really worried that it would look boring, but it didn't at all! The girls wore white sundresses and looked adorable, I will share the link to Deanna's blog when she posts them.
That's really all, it was a low drama weekend, which I am very grateful for. So today I am thankful for:
- Living in a country where I am free to worship God and celebrate the resurrection of his Son, Jesus Christ.
- Family and friends
- On the Border corn tortilla chips being sold in a huge bag at Sam's and being gluten free!
Okay, here I go into domestic bliss!
We had all of my in-laws in town for Easter, which included T's parents, his only sister, her husband and their three boys. We had a great, mostly stress free weekend, and just truly enjoyed each others' company.
I was coming down off the high of a couple of successful GF baking attempts, and with a traditional ham dinner for Easter Sunday on the docket, I decided to make GF "dinner rolls."
Quotation marks are because they looked like biscuits and tasted like something I would feed the dogs. Oh, wow, they were horrible.
They didn't taste like anything I had ever had before. I can't even truly describe how bad they were, my sister in law said they tasted like a tennis shoe.
My brother in law walked into the kitchen to snag one as they were cooling and was trying really hard not to show his disgust, the nice man that he is. But even though we warned him, T put on his game face and ate one on Sunday because he is my wonderful husband. 95% of the meals I put in front of him are delicious, so he remained loyal even during this experimental GF stage.
I didn't take any of this personally because even though I was honestly slaving in the kitchen over them, I thought they were pretty bad, too.
I also made GF "cinnamon rolls," which I am putting in quotation marks because they had more of a cinnamon roll inspired brioche-thing going on. Jill and I made these on Saturday night for Easter morning, because cinnamon rolls used to be our Sunday morning staple prior to Kate's CD diagnosis. Kate, one nephew and the adults all liked it, Brookie and the two older boys did not. 2 out of 3 ain't bad! I will probably try a different recipe next time though, because for the amount of work I put in, they weren't amazing.
The oatmeal cookies were a hit and amazingly there were a few left on Sunday, so T got to have one after his Lenten fast from sweets was broken. Such dedication to his personal sacrifice! I tempted him a lot with desserts over the last 40 plus days, just call me Eve.
I also made Brazilian Cheese Rolls, or pao de queijo, which are traditionally made with tapioca flour and are gluten free. The texture reminds me of the sausage balls you make with Bisquick, cheese and Jimmy Dean sausage, crunchy on the outside, and soft and springy on the inside. The recipe is one that you can play around with, using different herbs and cheeses and they are really easy to make. I will definitely be making those again. The first time I made them, I shaped them to be about the size of my palm, this time they were much smaller, about the size of a plum. I think somewhere in between will be perfect.
On Saturday, we took family pictures with Jill and her family, me, T and the girls, and my in-laws. We hired the photographer who took our Christmas pictures, my friend and hairstylist Amy came over and did our hair and makeup, (ooh la la!) and we all did the white shirts and blue jeans thing. I was really worried that it would look boring, but it didn't at all! The girls wore white sundresses and looked adorable, I will share the link to Deanna's blog when she posts them.
That's really all, it was a low drama weekend, which I am very grateful for. So today I am thankful for:
- Living in a country where I am free to worship God and celebrate the resurrection of his Son, Jesus Christ.
- Family and friends
- On the Border corn tortilla chips being sold in a huge bag at Sam's and being gluten free!
Okay, here I go into domestic bliss!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me, Yeah!
This weekend I have all of T's family coming in for Easter, and I am scrambling for bread replacement recipes. I still need to find a recipe for sandwich rolls, but I am a dessert girl, so that's where I started.
Today I attempted to make my great-grandmother's Oatmeal Raisin Cookie recipe gluten free. Guess what? They are great!
I started out making these egg-free this past spring, partly because the little girl down the street was allergic and partly because I was out of eggs that day. They turned out really good, and it made me so happy that Jilly was able to eat them, especially since when she came to our house for Brooke's "Milk and Cookies" birthday party, she wasn't able to eat anything. My sister in law jumped into the pantry and ended up with a Cascadian Farms granola bar. Hostess with the mostest!
So making cookies for kids is kinda my thing. I love having fresh baked cookies for the girls and usually share them with my friends' families so that we don't eat them all, and also because there's just something about made-from-scratch, homemade cookies that is so comforting. My mom made these for us growing up pretty regularly, so maybe that's why they taste so good. Knowing that my sweet Great Grandma Brown made these for her family makes them even better to me.
Great Grandma was my mother's beloved grandmother, and she was, I believe, 4 foot 11, and as kind and loving as can be. She passed away when I was a junior in high school, but I can still hear her Canadian accented voice calling my mother "Pet." According to my mother, she used to hoard toilet paper and never learned how to drive. She loved my mother dearly and went to bat for her as a little girl when she would do something to make my great grandfather angry, like play in the yard and bend the blades of grass. For real. God Bless his soul, some men like things just so, don't they?
I'm sure they are not a secret recipe, she probably got it off the Crisco package since it calls for Crisco oil, but since she is gone, we are going to credit her!
Great Grandma Brown's Oatmeal-Raisin Cookies (Gluten, Dairy and Egg free)
1 c. Gluten Free All purpose flour *
1/4 tsp. xanthan gum
1 tsp. gluten free baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
Dash of cinnamon
3/4 c. brown sugar, packed
2/3 c. Crisco oil (I use store brand Canola oil, I'm a rule breaker!)
1 tsp. pure vanilla (can add another 1/2 tsp. if you are using a beany all purpose flour)
1 Tbsp. flax meal
3 Tbsp. lukewarm water
1 1/4 c. Certified Gluten Free Oats (I used Bob's Red Mill GF Rolled Oats)
1/2 c. raisins
Preheat your oven to 325 degrees. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper. Position racks in the oven so they are evenly spaced.
In a small bowl, place flax meal and lukewarm water, let sit for at least five minutes.
In a medium bowl, combine the first five ingredients and whisk together. Set aside.
In a large mixing bowl, (I use my stand mixer for this) combine brown sugar, oil and vanilla, then add flax meal/water combination, beat well.
Turn speed down, and add dry ingredients 1/2 cup at a time until all of mix is in, then turn the mixer speed up to medium and let it go for about two or three minutes.
Turn the speed down to low and add raisins, then oats. Stir until combined.
Using a small spoon, drop by rounded spoonfuls onto prepared baking sheets about two inches apart.
Bake for about 8-10 minutes, then remove from the oven and cool on the baking sheet. Enjoy warm and think of my Great Gram!
*The flour blend I used contained 1 cup each of white rice, sorghum, tapioca and almond flours, plus 1 cup of cornstarch. Mix all the flours together with a whisk and use 1:1 in place of all purpose wheat flour. I got the recipe from The Gluten-Free Bible, published by Publications International, Ltd. I like it because it doesn't use bean flour, which is more nutritious but tastes funky to me in cookies.
Because of the almond flour, this recipe is not nut free, but to do that, you could change the almond flour to coconut flour in the same proportion, or switch the flour blend to one that does not include almonds. Then this recipe would be pretty much allergen free!
Today I attempted to make my great-grandmother's Oatmeal Raisin Cookie recipe gluten free. Guess what? They are great!
I started out making these egg-free this past spring, partly because the little girl down the street was allergic and partly because I was out of eggs that day. They turned out really good, and it made me so happy that Jilly was able to eat them, especially since when she came to our house for Brooke's "Milk and Cookies" birthday party, she wasn't able to eat anything. My sister in law jumped into the pantry and ended up with a Cascadian Farms granola bar. Hostess with the mostest!
So making cookies for kids is kinda my thing. I love having fresh baked cookies for the girls and usually share them with my friends' families so that we don't eat them all, and also because there's just something about made-from-scratch, homemade cookies that is so comforting. My mom made these for us growing up pretty regularly, so maybe that's why they taste so good. Knowing that my sweet Great Grandma Brown made these for her family makes them even better to me.
Great Grandma was my mother's beloved grandmother, and she was, I believe, 4 foot 11, and as kind and loving as can be. She passed away when I was a junior in high school, but I can still hear her Canadian accented voice calling my mother "Pet." According to my mother, she used to hoard toilet paper and never learned how to drive. She loved my mother dearly and went to bat for her as a little girl when she would do something to make my great grandfather angry, like play in the yard and bend the blades of grass. For real. God Bless his soul, some men like things just so, don't they?
I'm sure they are not a secret recipe, she probably got it off the Crisco package since it calls for Crisco oil, but since she is gone, we are going to credit her!
Great Grandma Brown's Oatmeal-Raisin Cookies (Gluten, Dairy and Egg free)
1 c. Gluten Free All purpose flour *
1/4 tsp. xanthan gum
1 tsp. gluten free baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
Dash of cinnamon
3/4 c. brown sugar, packed
2/3 c. Crisco oil (I use store brand Canola oil, I'm a rule breaker!)
1 tsp. pure vanilla (can add another 1/2 tsp. if you are using a beany all purpose flour)
1 Tbsp. flax meal
3 Tbsp. lukewarm water
1 1/4 c. Certified Gluten Free Oats (I used Bob's Red Mill GF Rolled Oats)
1/2 c. raisins
Preheat your oven to 325 degrees. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper. Position racks in the oven so they are evenly spaced.
In a small bowl, place flax meal and lukewarm water, let sit for at least five minutes.
In a medium bowl, combine the first five ingredients and whisk together. Set aside.
In a large mixing bowl, (I use my stand mixer for this) combine brown sugar, oil and vanilla, then add flax meal/water combination, beat well.
Turn speed down, and add dry ingredients 1/2 cup at a time until all of mix is in, then turn the mixer speed up to medium and let it go for about two or three minutes.
Turn the speed down to low and add raisins, then oats. Stir until combined.
Using a small spoon, drop by rounded spoonfuls onto prepared baking sheets about two inches apart.
Bake for about 8-10 minutes, then remove from the oven and cool on the baking sheet. Enjoy warm and think of my Great Gram!
*The flour blend I used contained 1 cup each of white rice, sorghum, tapioca and almond flours, plus 1 cup of cornstarch. Mix all the flours together with a whisk and use 1:1 in place of all purpose wheat flour. I got the recipe from The Gluten-Free Bible, published by Publications International, Ltd. I like it because it doesn't use bean flour, which is more nutritious but tastes funky to me in cookies.
Because of the almond flour, this recipe is not nut free, but to do that, you could change the almond flour to coconut flour in the same proportion, or switch the flour blend to one that does not include almonds. Then this recipe would be pretty much allergen free!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I think that if motherhood is a test, I'm pulling in a B-. I have so much to learn, but I know enough of the basics to wing it most days. It's kinda like college, I find myself struggling the most when I choose not to plan ahead, and breezing through on the days that I am prepared. You would think that I would learn my lesson and always pick out clothes and pack lunch the night before, but do I? Nope.
However, nothing could have prepared me for what we have been dealing with over the last month or so.
Kate has had an "angry tummy" since she contracted giardia (a nasty parasite common in swimming pools, shopping carts, dirt, etc.) last summer. She was sick enough that she was losing weight, lethargic, and scaring her momma big time. We ended up switching pediatricians over the whole thing, because our former ped would not perform a stool sample, (poop in a bowl) saying that even if it was giardia, it was "self-limiting" and that it would resolve itself. In his opinion, it was a virus. Shocker.
The next day, she had a dentist appointment where they took her vitals and her weight had gotten down to 29 lbs, which meant her total weight loss was around 11% of her body weight, and I started panicking, worst case scenario style.
I called around and got her in with a new pediatrician, Dr. Ramsey, who took us seriously and ordered the stool sample, got her on the hardcore antibiotic...no more giardia, good as new, right?
Except Kate never really got back to normal. Her tummy always hurt, her "throw up" (throat) hurt, she was alternating between diarrhea, constipation, bloated, flat tummy, irritable, happy, fatigued, energetic, hungry and full. We chalked it up to the terrific three's and Dr. Ramsey called it "postviral gastroparesis," or indigestion caused by an infection. She put her on Prevacid for the reflux (she would have random vomiting episodes, as well) and Miralax for the poo issues. She ordered an abdominal x-ray, which showed Kate to be full of you-know-what, and prescribed enemas and suppositories to clean her out. Now it was labeled "chronic constipation."
Well, I was not really happy about my child taking two longterm medications at the age of three and a half, so I tried increasing her fiber, giving her more whole wheat items, oatmeal, prunes, raisins, etc. It didn't seem to matter what I fed her, she never had two days the same. And every night, she told us her tummy hurt.
It got to the point that she had a preference between two types of glycerin suppositories because one was less uncomfortable than the other, and she would ask for Mylanta before bed every night.
I felt like something was wrong, and none of what we were doing was solving the problem or even really treating the symptoms.
Meanwhile, my own stomach was giving me grief. I have had heartburn off and on since I was pregnant with Brooke, and it started acting up more frequently during all of this. My doctor had me start taking Prilosec, then increased to a double dose when the single dose stopped helping. I had an upper GI performed, which was absolutely horrible. But a story for another day!
Anyway, everything appeared normal, and at my follow up appointment, she changed my PPI to a prescription and asked me if I or anyone in my family had ever been tested for Celiac disease. My answer was no, I have only known one person ever with it, he lived across from me in high school and I think I may have spoken three words to him in my life.
So she said she wanted to test me the next time I came in for bloodwork in June, and I headed home to, of course, scour the internet for info on Celiac disease.
And it all described my baby girl's ailments.
So the following week, Kate had a follow up, and I asked Dr. Ramsey to do the blood test for Celiac disease. She was not convinced that it wasn't "garden variety chronic constipation," but she tested her, probably just to appease me, since I'm pretty sure that between my two girls, we have paid for her summer vacation this year.
A week later, I called the office, and they told me that Kate's results were in and they were high, so I needed to make an appointment with a pediatric gastroenterologist.
What?!
Me- "What does that mean, the results are high?" Nurse- "Well, it means that you need to see the gastroenterologist."
Thanks for the info. So I called the man, Dr. Villa, and I got an appointment for the next afternoon. I'm thinking this guy must be top notch if I have an appointment in less than 24 hours. That doesn't even happen at the car dealership.
So we went, and I answered all the questions about Kate's diet, her medical history, my medical history, T's medical history, and that of every family member I can think of who has ever had a significant medical problem. Then we saw Dr. Villa.
He was very good with Kate, not too pushy, and felt around on her belly for a minute, which made her laugh because it tickled.
Then he told me that her antibody levels indicated Celiac disease, with her chances of having it being in the 90's. I was floored, I could not believe that my child, who came from my own body, could have this and not even I could tell. I went through all the stages of grief right there in his office in about thirty seconds, to which he responded that this was not a bad disease.
(I KNOW THAT! IT'S NOT CANCER, OR AUTISM OR ANYTHING LIFE THREATENING BUT I AM TERRIFIED AND MY CHILD IS SICK SO GIVE ME A BREAK!) - Internal Rant
Then I took my beautiful girl home, and two days later, Dr. Villa performed an endoscopy on her under general anesthesia and took biopsies from her esophagus, stomach and small intestine. Our friend and priest, Rich, came and sat with us, providing comic relief and prayer, which is a great combination. Meanwhile, T's mother drove in to keep Brooke for us, and we had many prayerful women from the Daughters of the King praying for Kate and her doctors. I can't speak for Tommy, but I felt at peace. I had no anxiety, Kate was charming all the nurses, and when she woke up, she looked around and asked where the doctor was, then wanted to go home and eat. Dr. Villa said her tissues looked normal, but we would have to wait for the biopsy results to be sure.
The following Wednesday, or one week ago today, we went back to Dr. Villa's and were told that the biopsies confirmed that it was Celiac disease, and the only treatment is a 100% gluten free diet. Gluten is everywhere in almost everything. T was in Brazil for the week, my brain felt like it was in the washing machine, and so my reaction was to drive over to Whole Foods and wander around. At 11:30 am. With two hungry, tired and cranky toddlers.
So I spent $80 on 10 items, then came home, made mock flour tortilla quesadillas, put the girls in bed and purged my pantry. I also had some crying spells thrown in here and there, driving, sitting, laughing and then crying. I felt like a crazy person.
I know it's not the end of the world, and I know it's not a death sentence. But in a way it is. Kate will never have a carefree existence. She will always have to prepare and plan ahead, I will always have to prepare and plan ahead, which we have already determined, is NOT my strong suit.
The absolutely fabulous news is, we will be much healthier, savvier consumers, since Kate being gluten free means that the rest of the family will be mostly gluten free as well in order to protect her little intestines from being attacked. Eating gluten free means reading every label on every item you purchase and bring into your home, so you are much more conscious of what you are putting in your body.
It also means very little eating out since the only way to be sure of your food's safety is to prepare it yourself. Which means me. In the kitchen. Three meals a day. Downside, lots of dirty dishes. Upside, new cookbooks and recipes, some of my guilty pleasures!!
I gave myself a full 24 hours to grieve, then got busy figuring things out. I emailed a college friend whose daughter is also Celiac, had a great conversation with her and immediately felt less isolated. I also decided not to Facebook and blog and spill to the world about this until I was ready to deal with questions or well meaning and sometimes irritating comments.
We haven't "told" Kate anything, I've told her that she can only eat what Mommy and Daddy give her, and when she wants something she can't have, we've told her that the food in question will make her tummy hurt. Which is not something she wants! So far, she has done great, she eats whatever we give her for the most part, and has only told us a couple of times that her tummy hurts. Her preschool teachers have been awesome, letting me know what snack is at school so that I can bring Kate a healthy alternative, and following my directions for preparation. The next test will be Easter weekend when we have family coming in and we will be going out to eat!
So here's where I am today.
1. Don't take no for an answer when it comes to your child's health. It is your job and your right as the parent to ask questions and expect great care.
2. If you feel like something is not right, it probably isn't.
3. Circle the wagons. Decide who needs to know and who doesn't and keep it that way until the family is ready to share. My decision was based on T being basically incommunicado and respecting that he needed his vacation more than I needed the heartfelt sympathy of Facebook nation.
4. Planning and preparing are tools for success! I was always able to wing it and succeed until I had two children and a laundry list of responsibilities. That is one positive to come out of all of this, but not the only one.
5. Know that if your child has a disease or disorder, you need to become as much of an expert as you can, because you are their only advocate, and no one else is going to make informed decisions for them but you. The nurses at the doctor's office, the dietitian, even the friends whose children have the same issue, not one of them knows your child like you, and as long as your child is small, it is up to you to direct their care.
6. It's better to know than to wonder.
The next step is having the rest of our family tested. Brooke had her blood drawn last week and we are waiting on the results. T and I have to have our blood drawn, which will include the antibody panel and the genetic screen. Pray that Brooke's levels are low and she will not have to undergo the endoscopy. Pray for patience for me while I navigate through this transition. Pray for the healing of Kate's body and that we can continue to see the upside in all of this.
Stay tuned for fun with GF cooking!
UPDATE* Dr. Ramsey's office just called and Brooke's bloodwork came back normal! Hallelujah!
However, nothing could have prepared me for what we have been dealing with over the last month or so.
Kate has had an "angry tummy" since she contracted giardia (a nasty parasite common in swimming pools, shopping carts, dirt, etc.) last summer. She was sick enough that she was losing weight, lethargic, and scaring her momma big time. We ended up switching pediatricians over the whole thing, because our former ped would not perform a stool sample, (poop in a bowl) saying that even if it was giardia, it was "self-limiting" and that it would resolve itself. In his opinion, it was a virus. Shocker.
The next day, she had a dentist appointment where they took her vitals and her weight had gotten down to 29 lbs, which meant her total weight loss was around 11% of her body weight, and I started panicking, worst case scenario style.
I called around and got her in with a new pediatrician, Dr. Ramsey, who took us seriously and ordered the stool sample, got her on the hardcore antibiotic...no more giardia, good as new, right?
Except Kate never really got back to normal. Her tummy always hurt, her "throw up" (throat) hurt, she was alternating between diarrhea, constipation, bloated, flat tummy, irritable, happy, fatigued, energetic, hungry and full. We chalked it up to the terrific three's and Dr. Ramsey called it "postviral gastroparesis," or indigestion caused by an infection. She put her on Prevacid for the reflux (she would have random vomiting episodes, as well) and Miralax for the poo issues. She ordered an abdominal x-ray, which showed Kate to be full of you-know-what, and prescribed enemas and suppositories to clean her out. Now it was labeled "chronic constipation."
Well, I was not really happy about my child taking two longterm medications at the age of three and a half, so I tried increasing her fiber, giving her more whole wheat items, oatmeal, prunes, raisins, etc. It didn't seem to matter what I fed her, she never had two days the same. And every night, she told us her tummy hurt.
It got to the point that she had a preference between two types of glycerin suppositories because one was less uncomfortable than the other, and she would ask for Mylanta before bed every night.
I felt like something was wrong, and none of what we were doing was solving the problem or even really treating the symptoms.
Meanwhile, my own stomach was giving me grief. I have had heartburn off and on since I was pregnant with Brooke, and it started acting up more frequently during all of this. My doctor had me start taking Prilosec, then increased to a double dose when the single dose stopped helping. I had an upper GI performed, which was absolutely horrible. But a story for another day!
Anyway, everything appeared normal, and at my follow up appointment, she changed my PPI to a prescription and asked me if I or anyone in my family had ever been tested for Celiac disease. My answer was no, I have only known one person ever with it, he lived across from me in high school and I think I may have spoken three words to him in my life.
So she said she wanted to test me the next time I came in for bloodwork in June, and I headed home to, of course, scour the internet for info on Celiac disease.
And it all described my baby girl's ailments.
So the following week, Kate had a follow up, and I asked Dr. Ramsey to do the blood test for Celiac disease. She was not convinced that it wasn't "garden variety chronic constipation," but she tested her, probably just to appease me, since I'm pretty sure that between my two girls, we have paid for her summer vacation this year.
A week later, I called the office, and they told me that Kate's results were in and they were high, so I needed to make an appointment with a pediatric gastroenterologist.
What?!
Me- "What does that mean, the results are high?" Nurse- "Well, it means that you need to see the gastroenterologist."
Thanks for the info. So I called the man, Dr. Villa, and I got an appointment for the next afternoon. I'm thinking this guy must be top notch if I have an appointment in less than 24 hours. That doesn't even happen at the car dealership.
So we went, and I answered all the questions about Kate's diet, her medical history, my medical history, T's medical history, and that of every family member I can think of who has ever had a significant medical problem. Then we saw Dr. Villa.
He was very good with Kate, not too pushy, and felt around on her belly for a minute, which made her laugh because it tickled.
Then he told me that her antibody levels indicated Celiac disease, with her chances of having it being in the 90's. I was floored, I could not believe that my child, who came from my own body, could have this and not even I could tell. I went through all the stages of grief right there in his office in about thirty seconds, to which he responded that this was not a bad disease.
(I KNOW THAT! IT'S NOT CANCER, OR AUTISM OR ANYTHING LIFE THREATENING BUT I AM TERRIFIED AND MY CHILD IS SICK SO GIVE ME A BREAK!) - Internal Rant
Then I took my beautiful girl home, and two days later, Dr. Villa performed an endoscopy on her under general anesthesia and took biopsies from her esophagus, stomach and small intestine. Our friend and priest, Rich, came and sat with us, providing comic relief and prayer, which is a great combination. Meanwhile, T's mother drove in to keep Brooke for us, and we had many prayerful women from the Daughters of the King praying for Kate and her doctors. I can't speak for Tommy, but I felt at peace. I had no anxiety, Kate was charming all the nurses, and when she woke up, she looked around and asked where the doctor was, then wanted to go home and eat. Dr. Villa said her tissues looked normal, but we would have to wait for the biopsy results to be sure.
The following Wednesday, or one week ago today, we went back to Dr. Villa's and were told that the biopsies confirmed that it was Celiac disease, and the only treatment is a 100% gluten free diet. Gluten is everywhere in almost everything. T was in Brazil for the week, my brain felt like it was in the washing machine, and so my reaction was to drive over to Whole Foods and wander around. At 11:30 am. With two hungry, tired and cranky toddlers.
So I spent $80 on 10 items, then came home, made mock flour tortilla quesadillas, put the girls in bed and purged my pantry. I also had some crying spells thrown in here and there, driving, sitting, laughing and then crying. I felt like a crazy person.
I know it's not the end of the world, and I know it's not a death sentence. But in a way it is. Kate will never have a carefree existence. She will always have to prepare and plan ahead, I will always have to prepare and plan ahead, which we have already determined, is NOT my strong suit.
The absolutely fabulous news is, we will be much healthier, savvier consumers, since Kate being gluten free means that the rest of the family will be mostly gluten free as well in order to protect her little intestines from being attacked. Eating gluten free means reading every label on every item you purchase and bring into your home, so you are much more conscious of what you are putting in your body.
It also means very little eating out since the only way to be sure of your food's safety is to prepare it yourself. Which means me. In the kitchen. Three meals a day. Downside, lots of dirty dishes. Upside, new cookbooks and recipes, some of my guilty pleasures!!
I gave myself a full 24 hours to grieve, then got busy figuring things out. I emailed a college friend whose daughter is also Celiac, had a great conversation with her and immediately felt less isolated. I also decided not to Facebook and blog and spill to the world about this until I was ready to deal with questions or well meaning and sometimes irritating comments.
We haven't "told" Kate anything, I've told her that she can only eat what Mommy and Daddy give her, and when she wants something she can't have, we've told her that the food in question will make her tummy hurt. Which is not something she wants! So far, she has done great, she eats whatever we give her for the most part, and has only told us a couple of times that her tummy hurts. Her preschool teachers have been awesome, letting me know what snack is at school so that I can bring Kate a healthy alternative, and following my directions for preparation. The next test will be Easter weekend when we have family coming in and we will be going out to eat!
So here's where I am today.
1. Don't take no for an answer when it comes to your child's health. It is your job and your right as the parent to ask questions and expect great care.
2. If you feel like something is not right, it probably isn't.
3. Circle the wagons. Decide who needs to know and who doesn't and keep it that way until the family is ready to share. My decision was based on T being basically incommunicado and respecting that he needed his vacation more than I needed the heartfelt sympathy of Facebook nation.
4. Planning and preparing are tools for success! I was always able to wing it and succeed until I had two children and a laundry list of responsibilities. That is one positive to come out of all of this, but not the only one.
5. Know that if your child has a disease or disorder, you need to become as much of an expert as you can, because you are their only advocate, and no one else is going to make informed decisions for them but you. The nurses at the doctor's office, the dietitian, even the friends whose children have the same issue, not one of them knows your child like you, and as long as your child is small, it is up to you to direct their care.
6. It's better to know than to wonder.
The next step is having the rest of our family tested. Brooke had her blood drawn last week and we are waiting on the results. T and I have to have our blood drawn, which will include the antibody panel and the genetic screen. Pray that Brooke's levels are low and she will not have to undergo the endoscopy. Pray for patience for me while I navigate through this transition. Pray for the healing of Kate's body and that we can continue to see the upside in all of this.
Stay tuned for fun with GF cooking!
UPDATE* Dr. Ramsey's office just called and Brooke's bloodwork came back normal! Hallelujah!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Confession of a Shoeaholic.
Warning: There is no point to, moral of, lesson to be learned from this post.
I love to shop. It is a hobby of mine. Sometimes the gathering of items for a project is more fulfilling than the actual project itself.
I think it all goes back to kindergarten. We go to Wal-Mart, pick up our class list, and buy brand new, colorful, amazing, wonderful school supplies and they are JUST FOR US. What a high! I have such fond memories of packing my backpack the night before the first day of school, writing my name (or scrawling, I have terrible penmanship) on all of my new treasures. Sometimes my mom would try to get her hands on stuff first and just write our last name so that it could be shared. Oh no, none of this collective ownership for me, I want to write LINDSAY on everything. My Precious!
I have never been too into clothes or trends, though. I think this also goes back to elementary school. We didn't have a lot of money, and we didn't spend that much on clothes at all. My mom rarely bought things for herself, she sewed for us when we were younger, and we typically only got new clothes a couple of times a year, once before school started and once when it started getting hot. So we got basic stuff, tee shirts, shorts, jeans, tennis shoes, stuff that would last for the rest of the season.
I never would have imagined I would turn into a shoe junkie. But I kinda have.
And not even for myself.
I. Collect. Girls'. Shoes. And, to a certain extent, clothing in general.
My girls' closets are amazing. They have so many outfits, it is almost disgusting. I could put something different on them everyday and not do laundry for several weeks. And they have more socks, panties, tights, bows, clips, barrettes, and headbands than I thought possible.
The shoes, however, take the cake.
Mom: "Kate, go put on your shoes."
Kate: "Which ones?"
Mom: "The sandals."
Kate: "Which sandals?"
Mom: "The white sandals!"
Kate: "But they not match!"
She has no less than 10 pairs of shoes. And she wears them all.
She has flip flops and Crocs for swim lessons and gymnastics, tennis shoes for playing and preschool, brown Mary Janes, black Mary Janes, white ballet flats, white sandals, gold sandals, brown sandals and rain boots. And that's not counting the ruby red slippers from Aunt Sarah or the silver gem ballet flats that are on deck for when her feet grow just a little bit. Or the pink slip-on tennies that I'm saving for this summer when it's too hot for socks but she has to wear closed-toe shoes.
I can justify just about anything.
Meanwhile, little Brookie has tiny little feet, and she is in a different season than big sister was. So the shoes that fit her now are winter blacks and browns, which means "they not match!"
So off to the store we go today, for some new sandals for Brookie, and maybe some for Kate.
I found my Mecca, ladies, it is here in Houston and it is called Rattle Tattle. You only thought I'd hit rock bottom. I tell myself that Brooke will wear her big sister's shoes and clothes. (Eye roll) Poor Tommy, he is in so much trouble.
Oh my "goomess," as Kate would say, Rattle Tattle is like crack for Kate. They sell every frilly, frou frou, girly item you can think of, and all of the adorable boy stuff that Moms and Grammies love and that makes the daddies cringe. One part of the store is tutus and dance wear, then they have all the beautiful smocked dresses that I love, a toy corner for the kids to play while you shop, and right in the middle is the SHOE SECTION. Quincy on Little Einsteins would be saying, "I can not believe it!" Both girls walked out of there with two new pairs of sandals for the summer.
And I will be returning soon for their smocked dresses for Easter. Don't kid yourself.
I love to shop. It is a hobby of mine. Sometimes the gathering of items for a project is more fulfilling than the actual project itself.
I think it all goes back to kindergarten. We go to Wal-Mart, pick up our class list, and buy brand new, colorful, amazing, wonderful school supplies and they are JUST FOR US. What a high! I have such fond memories of packing my backpack the night before the first day of school, writing my name (or scrawling, I have terrible penmanship) on all of my new treasures. Sometimes my mom would try to get her hands on stuff first and just write our last name so that it could be shared. Oh no, none of this collective ownership for me, I want to write LINDSAY on everything. My Precious!
I have never been too into clothes or trends, though. I think this also goes back to elementary school. We didn't have a lot of money, and we didn't spend that much on clothes at all. My mom rarely bought things for herself, she sewed for us when we were younger, and we typically only got new clothes a couple of times a year, once before school started and once when it started getting hot. So we got basic stuff, tee shirts, shorts, jeans, tennis shoes, stuff that would last for the rest of the season.
I never would have imagined I would turn into a shoe junkie. But I kinda have.
And not even for myself.
I. Collect. Girls'. Shoes. And, to a certain extent, clothing in general.
My girls' closets are amazing. They have so many outfits, it is almost disgusting. I could put something different on them everyday and not do laundry for several weeks. And they have more socks, panties, tights, bows, clips, barrettes, and headbands than I thought possible.
The shoes, however, take the cake.
Mom: "Kate, go put on your shoes."
Kate: "Which ones?"
Mom: "The sandals."
Kate: "Which sandals?"
Mom: "The white sandals!"
Kate: "But they not match!"
She has no less than 10 pairs of shoes. And she wears them all.
She has flip flops and Crocs for swim lessons and gymnastics, tennis shoes for playing and preschool, brown Mary Janes, black Mary Janes, white ballet flats, white sandals, gold sandals, brown sandals and rain boots. And that's not counting the ruby red slippers from Aunt Sarah or the silver gem ballet flats that are on deck for when her feet grow just a little bit. Or the pink slip-on tennies that I'm saving for this summer when it's too hot for socks but she has to wear closed-toe shoes.
I can justify just about anything.
Meanwhile, little Brookie has tiny little feet, and she is in a different season than big sister was. So the shoes that fit her now are winter blacks and browns, which means "they not match!"
So off to the store we go today, for some new sandals for Brookie, and maybe some for Kate.
I found my Mecca, ladies, it is here in Houston and it is called Rattle Tattle. You only thought I'd hit rock bottom. I tell myself that Brooke will wear her big sister's shoes and clothes. (Eye roll) Poor Tommy, he is in so much trouble.
Oh my "goomess," as Kate would say, Rattle Tattle is like crack for Kate. They sell every frilly, frou frou, girly item you can think of, and all of the adorable boy stuff that Moms and Grammies love and that makes the daddies cringe. One part of the store is tutus and dance wear, then they have all the beautiful smocked dresses that I love, a toy corner for the kids to play while you shop, and right in the middle is the SHOE SECTION. Quincy on Little Einsteins would be saying, "I can not believe it!" Both girls walked out of there with two new pairs of sandals for the summer.
And I will be returning soon for their smocked dresses for Easter. Don't kid yourself.
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